Doing Time
by crashedxhearts
Summary: The Cullens and Bella go to jail! A little humor a little romance a little fluff. Hilarious misunderstandings... give it a shot!
1. Chapter 1

**Lets follow the Cullens to jail! We all love them and the crazy messes they manage to get themselves into and I just couldn't resist writing a 'cullens go to jail' story. Bella is (obviously) in jail with them, but she's still human. I don't own any of Twilight.**

_Friday night in the Nashville county jail._

**Detective Baker POV**

I should have gone on vacation. If I had only listened to my wife and cooked a flight to Europe with her for a week like she had asked then I could've avoided this whole situation. But I didn't. Not I'm sstuck in the Nashville county jail with six teenagers whom I suspect are all either mentally disturbed or on drugs... possibly both.

An hour earlier my partner had responded to a local call complainging about a group of people disturbing the peace. The call had sounded simple enough but Todd instead came back to the station with six beautiful people, each displaying a wide range of emotion on their face.

One tiny girl with short dark hair was handcuffed and bouncing up and down while arguing at the speed of light.

One blonde girl was displaying the most terrifying death glares I'd ever seen in my life.

A bronze haired boy had his arm slung protectively around another dark haired girl who was furiously blushing.

A blonde haired boy looked like he was about to have a panic attack while one extremely large male bellowed out various 'cop dialogue'.

My partner looked thoroughly shaken and shoved his report of the scene into my hands.

"You interrogate them," Todd's voice shook and he continued, "I'm going home." I was worried and confused by his tone but just assumed that he was tired and overworked. A voice boomed as I reached out to take the file being thrust at me. I turned my head just in time to see the big buy point at the anxious blonde and shout.

"JASPER! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!" The so called 'Jasper' then proceeded to tremlbe some more while his accuser continued laughing. A big WHAP sounded when he smacked him on the back and continued, "Don't worry man I'll get us out of this!" At that declaration every other person rolled their eyes.

The door to the station clanged and Todd was already outside starting his car in a desperate attempt to escape. The bronze hair boy tappen me on the shoulder and held a serious gaze.

"Can we just get this over with?" His voice was smooth and composed but sounded on the verge of yelling.

"Yes pleace, If you don't mind, I have other things I'd rather be doing," the blonde haired girl spat out, each word laced with venom. The bronze haired boy chuckled and mumbled something about realistic metaphors. I could feel my hands starting to sweat.

"Oh, uh, yes, sorry." I got up and started to head towards the interrogation room. "This way please." All six of them trailed behind me while I dared a glance at my partners report.

_"...Six teens found at the scene, one blonde haired male was engaged in a physical confrontation with a bronze haired male. Cause unknown. A small dark haired girl had $6,000 worth of stolen clothes in her posession and is accused of kidnapping. Second dark haired girl is the suspected kidnapee, seems to however be close with kidnapper. Red liquid was covering the ground, source unknown, possible blood. Blonde haired girl is a suspected prostitute. Large male is the suspected pimp and possible drug abuser..."_

I glanced at my watch, it said 10:36 PM. God only knows this will be a long night... I'm going to need some coffee..

Once we got to the room everyone sat down in a boy girl fashion. The pixie looking girl still had not calmed down, but had stopped talking. It made me slightly nervouse when she sat down with only one person between her and the girl she was suspected of kidnapping. I worked up some nerve and began to speak, "Why don't we start with all of you telling me your name." I glanced towards the blonde haired boy and nodded for him to begin.

"Jasper." He barely opened his mouth while he spoke.

"I'm Alice and I'm 100% not a kidnapper or an intentional shop lifter." She beamed and I couldn't help but notice her sparklingly and perfect teeth.

"I'm Edward." He held a perfect poker face and had his fingers intertwined with the young woman sitting next to him.

"Bella." She avoided eye contact and still held a deep shade of red in her cheeks. Maybe she was nervous being near her kidnapper. Another snort of amusement escaped Edward. The potential pimp was next and he hadn't stopped smiling since he walked in. Normal people wouldn't be so pleased to be in prison..

"And your name sir?"

"You first!" He sounded like a child about to find out a secret.

"I'm Detective Baker." His eyes widened with wonder.

"Baker?!? Like Bake... like, baked?" I felt hesitant to answer.

"Y-yes?"

"Hey detective, are you into drugs?" The blonde girl on the other side of him smacked her forhead and closed her eyes in a look of embarassment and bewilderment. I thought back to Todd's report.

Oh yea, definite drug abuser this one was.

**So thats the first chapter! I'm currently writing another lengthy Twilight story which is more angsty and dramatic but I wanted to write this as well. If you like it so far then let me know and I'll continue! I might continue anyway though but still I would love feedback!!!! THANKS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews!!**

Jaspers-new wife

JasperSAYSrelax128

**Thanks so much to you guys for reviewing!!! and thanks yo everyone who favorited/ alerted!!!!!**

Edward POV

Emmett is an idiot. I always knew my brother was one for practical jokes but seriously, we're sitting in an interogation room in a different state with a cop, and Emmett asks him if he's into drugs. Rosalie's thoughts popped into my head.

"_My husband is a moron... oh just wait until he tried to drive his jeep and it moves 3 miles per hour..."_

Like any strong, caring, loyal spouse, she was plotting her revenge. I almost felt sorry for Emmett for unleashing the wrath of Rosalie.

"Son," The detective tried again, "this is no laughing matter, I need to know your name."

"Emmett sir. My name is Emmett spelled with two m's and two t's." My dear Bella rumbled slightly at my side while trying to surpress her giggles.

"Okay, thank you Emmett. Now for you miss, what's your name." Detective Baker turned towards Rosalie and she gave him one of her best fake smiles.

"Rosalie." It was beyond entertaining to hear her thoughts on how to punish Emmennt be in sharp contrast to her hair flick 'dazzle the human' facade.

"Detective Baker," Alice's sing-song voice spoke up and tried to soung extra friendly. "Before you ask us to explain what exactly happened tonight, I think you should know that we are here because of a tangle of misunderstandings." Both Bella and Rosalie nodded their heads in agreement. Emmett continued to think of various ways to spell his name, and Jasper was singing various musicals in norwegian in his head. I suspect he's just trying to focus on anything but the clash of emotions in the room.

"How did you know I was going to ask that question?" Baker looked at Alice wide eyed while she simply tapped her head with her pointer finger in a knowing way and smiled. Jasper chuckled and started sending out calming waves because our friendly human cop was leaning towards panic. Bella again squirmed slightly closer to me and I reveled in her esense.

"Yea, detective, Alice didn't kidnap me."

He looked skeptical.

"Miss...?"

"Swan," Bella answered.

"Miss Swan." He continued, "Are you familiar with Stockholm Syndrome?"

Bella gave a blank stare and a tiny head nod.

"I don't have Stockholm Syndrome sir." Her hands fidgeted slightly and I could tell that this guy was getting under her skin. She hated when people questioned her. Oh no... Emmett... don't say it!

"Isn't that where you fall in love with your kidnapper?" Jasper's head popped up and he immediately started laughing.

"Don't worry Jazzy," Alice attempted to move one of her handcuffed wrists out to him. "You know I love you and you only." They then both started laughing. Unfortunately our local cop decided to take Emmett seriously.

"Stockholm syndrom does not always mean that one falls in love with their kidnapper but more so that one has a connection or strong bond with their abductor." This set my love off.

"Listen," Bella sat a little straighter in her chair. "I know that this might seem a little crazy but Alice didn't kidnap me. She just took me shopping and the only reason we're here is because you're partner walked into a situation completely out of context, therefore it might have looked... strange. But I can assure you that all of us are innocent and we should just be let go now." Rosalie whistled and hollered "you go girl" in response.

I always think that Bella is cute when she's mad. Her face flushes slightly whenever she is angry and it is a slightly different shade of red then when she is embarassed. It always makes it hard for me to take her seriously because I am only reminded further of how much I love her. This was a different situation however because currently _Detective Baker_ was calling Bella a lunatic. He just couldn't comprehend how any sane person would claim that a 'klepto pixie on cocaine' actually had the innocent intention of taking her shopping.

If he knew Alice, he would know that shopping was not an innocent event.

Never-the-less I was starting to lose my patience with this man. He had no right to think about my Bella like that. I was the only one allowed to call her crazy...

"Fine." Baker looked flustered and then turned an unatural shade of green. A strange gurgling sounded from the pit of his stomach and he turned sideways in his chair away from us.

"Jasper!" I hissed. Jasper grinned and then simply shrugged his shoulders.

"I figured if he hurls then we can leave." I brought my pointer finger and thumb up towards the bridge of my nose and shook my head.

"Alice, how much longer are we going to be stuck in here?" Alice stared into space and then stopped and turned towards Jasper.

"You need to stop making him want to throw up, it's affecting my ability to obtain a realistic time frame.

Jasper frowned slightly and the room started to fill with a thick calm. Alice smirked and Jasper kissed the tip of her nose. "Ok let me try again." Again she stared into space. I felt Bella's fingers play with mine and I kissed the top of her head. Rosalie was attempting to cover herself up because she was still in the tiny school girl outfit from earlier in the night. Thats when it hit me... this looked bad. "If nothing goes horribly wrong I'd say another half hour, tops." We all smiled and felt somewhat relieved when the detective started to speak again.

"I'm sorry about that, I don't know what came over me." A low snicker. "I feel that before we continue with any questions you should all call your parents and alert them that you have been picked up by the police."

"They are in Washington.. we were on a trip." Rosalie's voice then sounded in my head after she finished addressing our captor. _"Is he thinking disturbing thoughts about me in this outfit?"_ I shuddered and gave a slight nod. _"What the fuck."_

"Well Miss, you are not the only one who has parents here."

"My dad lives in Washington too..." Bella trailed off and I think she was probably debating about whether or not she should mention that her dad is the chief of police in Forks.

"Thank you Miss Swan but I will tell you what I just told Miss..."

"Cullen." Rosalie finished. "Rosalie Hale Cullen."

"Right, well as I told Miss Cullen, you are not the only one with parents." He looked towards me Jasper Alice and Emmett. "I assume you all have parents that you need to call?" Oh god..

"Dude," Emmett looked at Detective Baker like he was an idiot. "We're all related."

A silence began to settly in the room. You could have heard a pin drop even you weren't a vampire.

"But-but aren't you all..._together_." His eyes were wide.

"Yea." Emmett offered no explanation.

"They're adopted." Bella jumped in to save the day.

"And you Miss Swan?" She sighed and I saw her throw me a mocking smile.

"Oh I'm just the human." Everyone laughed at the joke that went right over Detective Bakers head.

"Yes but you're my human." I hugged her close and pushed away a lock of hair behind her ear. I heard her heart rate pick up. Alice's vision started to seep through my thoughts.

_"I'm not a prostitute."_

_"Then tell me what you and this young man were doing on the corner with you dressed that way."_

_"Sex games."_

_"Emmett!!"_

_"Sex games?"_

_"Yes."_

Oh I could only guess how happy Emmett will be when he gets to boast about his and Rosalie's sexapades to a total stranger.

"So Miss Cullen would you mind telling me your job occupation."

Rosalie scowled.

"I'm not a prostitute."

"Then tell me what you and this young man were doing on the corner with you dressed that way."

"Sex games!" Emmett nearly jumped accross the table into the cops lap he was so enthusiastic.

"Emmett!!"

"Sex games?" Baker gave a skeptical look and raised one eyebrow."

"Yes."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the glares Rosalie was throwing his way. Emmett was digging himself into a hole and he didn't even notice. More like he didn't really understand.

"And you sir? Why were you fighting the young man at the end?" When Detective Baker looked at me I noticed for the first time just how beady his eyes were.

"I was fighting him because we had a misunderstanding." True.

"A misunderstanding? It must have been a big misunderstanding because you two seemed to be seriously hurting one another." Beady eyes glanced again towards his partners notes as if to verify what he just said. I guess that it would look that way to a human. Jasper and I had actually been barely wrestling each other by the time his partner got there. "What was the misunderstanding about?"

"Well, I thought that he drank Bella-"

" 'S SODA!" Emmett quickly added in. I felt Bella shake with laughter next to me.

"This was over Jasper drinking a soda?" The detective gave me a quizical look. Alice slammed down her handcuffed hands on the table.

"EDWARD!" I looked at her.

"What?"

"You remember what I said about half hour tops if nothing went wrong?" I nodded.

"Thanks you to and Jasper and _soda_ that just got upped to an hour. Atleast."

Oops.

**Tell me what you think!! also please go check out my other stories! Also I wrote Rosalie Hale Cullen so that when they get deeper into the whole all of them being related thing I can bring up that her and Jasper are supposed to be twins. PLEASE REVIEW!!! **


	3. Chapter 3

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE POSITIVE REVIEWS!!! It's so nice to know that people are reading and enjoying my story and I love love LOVE reviews! Thank you to...**

Jaspers-new wife

TheWolfGirl-08

sorcerergirl90

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Storm913

Bella503

**I appreciate the reviews on chapter two!! **

Bella POV

"Would anyone mind me summarizing what you all have or haven't done tonight?" Five people shrugged their shoulders around me. "Ok," The detective heaved a large sigh and scrunched up his face. "Tonight a call was made and you lot were found at the scene. Edward and Jasper were fighting over a false presumption that Jasper drank Bella's soda. During this time Bella was kidnapped and taken shopping by Alice who then proceeded to steal a large amount of expensive clothing-"

"I didn't steal them!" Alice interupted.

"Emmett and Rosalie were found on the corner," Baker continued, "in what I would call...._suggestive_ outfits. Each one of you claims that these are misunderstandings but I just can't ignore the evidence." Suddenly out of nowhere Rosalie jumped up and pointed at Edward.

"This is all Edwards fault sir!" Oh boy.

"WHAT?!? How is this my fault?" Edward was now standing as well and Detective Baker pushed himself away from the table slightly. He was probably afraid that he would somehow get caught in the cross fires of the verbal assualt. In truth, he should be afraid. "If this is anyone's fault it's Alice's fault!" I noticed Jasper cross his arms and furrow his brows in preparation so defend his wife.

"Me? Edward, if there's one person that shouldn't be blamed here it's me! I'm the one that is handcuffed! If Bella only had a better shopping tolerance she and I could still been at the mall right now!"

How did I know this would somehow get back to shopping. Vampires, werewolves, klutziness, pyscho's trying to kill me.. all of those things I overcome. Shopping with Alice will ultimately be my downfall. I just hope Edward changes me before I have the chance to die at the hands of a sales clerk.

"Don't blame this on Bella! You and your crazy shopping trips always take hours and you know she doesn't even like them!"

"She does too.. she just hasn't admitted to herself how much she looks forward to our outings. Infact I'm sure she dreams about shopping." Alice turned and looked at me. "Don't you Bella?"

"Uhh..." My throat felt dry and I hated that I somehow got thrown into the middle of this. I didn't want to hurt Alice's feelings by making my dislike of shopping more vocal then I already have.

"No Alice! In fact she occasionally has nightmares about your shopping trips. Trust me, I would know, I'm the one that's with her while she sleeps every night." I grabbed Edwards hand and started to try and tug him into a seated position again. I wanted him to cool down and not accidentally sentence us to more time in this room then he already has.

"Excuse me," Baker decided to become talkative again. "Did you just say that you are with Bella while she sleeps everynight?" I felt my face start to grow hot.

"Yea, he watches her sleep.. how freaky is that?" Emmett laughed a little to himself. My face grew hotter and hotter. I couldn't help but speak up in mine and Edwards defense.

"You only think that's freaky Emmett because you don't sleep!" Baker quickly turned to look at Emmett.

"Is that true Emmett? Do you not sleep?"

"I drink a lot of coffee." Emmett dead panned. Rosalie went to go sit back down and Emmett gave her a once over. "Also, other things keep me up at night." Rose smacked him in the head and then leaned her elbows onto the table. "Besides," Emmett continued, "I think the real people to blame here are Edward and Jasper."

"I was the victim!" Jasper shouted. "Edward is the one who overreacted and attacked me!"

"Over soda?" Detective Baker interrupted and had a serious expression plastered onto his face. I laughed at how hard he was trying to understand what had happened.

"Yes, over soda." Edward all but looked like his head was going to explode. He sat down next to me and was completely still. Jasper then directly addressed the detective.

"But Edward should know by now that I would never let myself drink Bella's soda! Besides if I were to get so thirsty that I attacked someone....'s soda.... Alice would stop me!" Baker nodded slowly in mock understanding.

"And how would Alice know when you want to drink someone's soda?" This conversation sent me into a fit of giggles. I just couldn't take all the talk of soda seriously. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me but unfortunately Alice and Rosalie had started giggling as well. He had to work three times as hard to quell our insanity. "What's so funny you three?" The detective glared at us in a disapproving manner. "There is nothing funny about assualt, theft, and prostitution!"

"GOD! I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!" Rose again stood up and started yelling. Her tiny skirt was riding up with each flippant gesture of her hand. Edward started shaking his head in disgust having clearly heard explicit thoughts about Rosalie in either Baker or Emmett's head... possibly both.

"Rose.. watch your skirt." I said it barely loud enough for any human to hear but Rosalie being a vampire quickly reached to pull her skirt down a little.

"Aww... Bella..." Emmett teased.

"Actually I would like to discuss you role in this more Rosalie." Baker leaned back in his chair and grossed his legs. "You too Emmett." Emmett let out an audible sigh.

"What would you like to know?"

He twiddled his fingers and seemed to pick his words carefully.

"You said before that you were all related. Aside from Miss Swan. Miss Swan thankfully informed me that you are all adopted, are any of you blood related?" It was funny to hear someone ask the Cullens about blood relations.. their whole lives were built on blood.

"Jasper and I are twins, and Edward and Alice are brother and sister." Rosalie's tone was flat and annoyed. "Emmett is just.. Emmett." She sighed and gestured towards her husband. The enormous rock of a diamond on Rosalie's finger glittered in the light. Baker gasped and I had a momentary worry that he might pass out.

"Ar- are you and Emmett... _married_?"

"Yes they are sir." Alice chirped happily. "Jasper and I are married as well."

"But you're all so young?! And you **live** together... you share the same parents!"

"Adoptive parents." Edward corrected. I was happy to notice that the detective's face was redder than mine at the moment.

"Do you think that maybe your personal relationships with each other in the family have caused you all to be more..reckless. Maybe you all are more likely to get in trouble with the law because of the difficult emotions to face at home. It must be hard to live in a house that has so many different emotions residing in it."

"You're telling me.." Jasper huffed and uncrossed his arms. "We don't need therapy and I feel that this is turning into a session at the shrinks."

"Well my job is to get to the bottom of the actions of tonight. I have to be satisfied that it will not happen again before I let you all go. Remember, I could throw you all in jail right now." That shut us up. The last thing any of us wanted.. well aside from Emmett.. would be to get stuck in a jail cell over night.

Alice wiggled in her seat and sighed.

"Is it possible I can be unhandcuffed?" She looked thoughtfully and waved her little bound wrists.

"No Miss Cullen, that is not possible until I'm sure you are not actually a kidnapper." I rolled my eyes at his continued accusation. "I would however like to discuss why you had so many stolen clothes with you at the scene. Do you feel the need to steal?" Alice's mouth dropped open in a look of shock.

"No! I don't steal ever! The only reason I had those clothes with me was because I ran after Bella when she left me at the mall. I had a very strong _feeling_ that I would need to go diffuse the situation between her Jasper and Edward."

"So it IS Bella's fault!" Emmett announced. "If she hadn't fun away from Alice then Edward and Jasper wouldn't have fought and Me and Rose would have never been forced out of our car to help diffuse the situation." Edward let out a low growl.

"You ran from the mall Miss Swan?"

"Yes.."

"Why?" God he was acting like a therapist.

"Because I was trying to get to Edward and Jasper and ask them for help." Alice shot me a warning glance.

"Help with what Bella?" Edward had clearly not heard this part of the story yet and his voice sounded cautious.

"I was worried... I was worried that Alice..." Before I could finish my sentence Alice jumped up onto her chair.

"BELLA DON'T!!!!" Baker looked surprised at Alice's reaction. As did the rest of the family... except for Edward.

"Alice... you tried to _**buy**_ the mall?" Edward Looked at her wide eyed and Alice fell to the ground with a loud thud while screaming 'no'. Jasper was up within a mili second and rushed to her side. His worry was sent out to everyone else in the room and I suddenly felt panicky.

"Alice.. ALICE!!" Jasper had her in his arms."Alice are you ok?" She nodded slightly but then turned towards Edward. My greek god had a look of dread and horror in his eyes.

"I think we need to discuss your shopping antics Miss Cullen." Detective Baker looked down across the table onto the floor where Jasper and Alice sat. Edward shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose for the second time tonight. Rosalie sighed, Emmett laughed, and I just continued to stare. Alice sat up and took her seat again. She turned towards the rest of us and simply said...

"Two hours now."

**THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING!!!! IT INSPIRES ME TO KEEP WRITING! Also in case it was unclear Alice's remark of "two hours" refers to their time in jail increasing. Next chapter is Alice POV**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm thrilled with all of the positive feedback!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS AND FAVORITES/ALERTS!! you're all so wonderful!!!**

**Thanks to..**

Grace'Cullen.x , Bella503, Storm913 , , Jaspers-new wife, fallenangel315, sorcerergirl90

All your review on chapter 3 were so amazing!!!! THANKS!!!

Also as you all know... I don't own anyone Twilight.

Alice POV

My dear brother needs to understand that it's not okay to just waltz into other peoples minds. What's it to him that I tried to buy the mall? It's not like I actually did... and besides I merely inquired about what that type of purchase would entail. If Bella had only waited she would have realised that I wasn't actually going to buy the _whole_ mall... maybe just a store or two.

"Alice," I snapped out of my rever when the detective started to speak. "Do you think that maybe you have a problem with shopping?"

"No, I'm a very good shopper. Ask anyone." How appalling that he would even THINK to ask me whether or not I was a bad shopper.

"Oh i'm sure that you are a very good shopper, what I meant was that maybe you shop too much." I feared for this mans sanity.

"There's no such thing as too much shopping." I heard Edward make a noise that was cleary supposed to mock me. I turned and gave him a glare. "Excuse me Edward, but just because I am the only one that cares enough to keep you dressed well doesn't mean that you need to make snide remarks. Be grateful that I put all that energy into your wardrobe." Edward rolled his eyes and I decided to keep the conversation going in our minds. "_Oh boy you just wait until there's a mountain lion that you want to drink and I get to it first. We'll see who's laughing then buddy."_

Edwards eyes widened slightly because he knows by now not to take my threats idily.

"Miss Cullen, I think we need to discuss exactly what happened earlier. If you wouldn't mind I would like a quick recap of how you and Miss Swan managed to end up at the scene with stolen clothing. I would also like to know why you were accused of kidnapping."

"Well first off," I gestured my tiny handcuffed hands towards Edward. "Edward is the one who said that I kidnapped Bella and he only said that because he was in a bad mood." I didn't both to see my brothers expression... I knew that he would be scowling at my blame.

"Is this true Edward? Did you falsely accuse your sister of kidnapping."

"Yes and no." Oh great Eddie make this more complicated then it already is.

"Can you elaborate please?"

I turned towards Edward and gave him my best 'explain yourself and make it good' look. He sighed extra loudly and folded his hands on the stainless steel table that we were all sitting at.

"Well, I said that she kidnapped Bella because she took her away from me to go shopping. Bella doesn't even like to go shopping. So yes I guess you could say she took Bella against her will...._but_....Alice did not take her with any intentions of holding her for ransom.. I would've known if she was thinking to do something like that." Emmett chuckled slightly at the way Edward snuck in an innuendo to his mind reading ability. "Anyways," Edward continued,"I was upset when I realised that Bella had gone shopping because I knew that she wouldn't have been enjoying herself and I yelled at Alice to not kidnap her like that anymore. Your partner clearly misunderstood the severity of my words."

I gave one fierce nod and looked towards the detective. He had moved closer towards our side of the table and was squinting his eyes slightly as if he was trying to figure out what large secret we were hiding.

Well, the secret is that we're vampires. But he will never know.

"I think I need to get something out in the open here," Emmett started to speak and flung his arm around Rosalie while he did so. "Detective Baked is it?"

"Baker."

"Ok well, Detective Baked, My family and I aren't normal." He wouldn't... he wouldn't would he?

Edward looked at me and mouthed 'he would'. Poor Bella attempted to kick Emmetts leg under the table but only hurt her own foot against my brothers tree trunk calf.

"Emmett..." Jasper let out a low growl of a warning that was only for our ears. Rosalie unlatched herself from him and starting threatening jeep parts and sex privledges at vampiric speed.

"Not normal?" Baker again started to inch backwards slightly. "In what way are you all not normal?" Emmett had a pained expression on his face from all the things Rosalie was saying and I pictured him weighing out all his options in his mind.

"Umm.. well you see we all..." Bella was at a loss for words and looked towards each of us for an idea.

"We're all addicts." Jasper finally blurted out.

"Addicts? Drugs?" Detective Baker looked straight towards Emmett as he said the word drug.

"All kinds of things, not just drugs." I said while trying to defend my husbands claim.

"You Miss Cullen, I would assume, are addicted to shopping?"

"No, I'm not addicted, I'm just..enthusiastic." Jasper started fidgeting next to me while I talked and I placed my hand on his shoulder as a way of showing my concern. He glanced over towards Emmett who was blatantly staring down Rose's shirt. I could nearly feel the lust coming off of Emmett and I wasn't even the empath in the family. Poor Jazzy.. he must be so uncomfortable right now. Detective Baker seemed to notice the change in Jaspers body language because he cleared his throat and pointed towards my husband.

"Are you okay there son?" Jasper gave a quick nod and slid his hand onto my knee in an attempt to calm himself. Baker continued, "You seem a little... shaky?" More like he seemed a little horny.

"He's bi-polar" Rosalie said with a slight grin playing at her lips. "He left his medication back in Washington with our parents."

"Oh, well.." Again he inched his chair back. "Is that maybe why the soda incident with your brother and-" Our poorly dressed cop looked at Edward and Bella's intertwined fingers,"his girlfriend, got so out of hand?"

"Fiance." Edward and Bella both said in unison. Baker shook his head slightly.

"Of course, fiance, sorry. So is that why the situation escalated to a physical one?"

"No," Jasper looked towards his one hand that was still on the table. "It because we misunderstood each other, Edward already said that."

"Yes, I realise he did, but I think that we should go over the details. Now I know that your brother got angry because he thought that you drank Bella's soda but I have two questions. Number 1, why would that matter? And number 2, why did he think that?" I gave my husband a quick glance and he seemed to be okay so I let him answer for himself.

"It would matter because if I had drank the soda then Bella.." He winced slightly as he looked at his future sister and I assumed that he was remember the time he nearly did drink her.. "Bella would become.._dehydrated_." The detective nodded more so to himself then any of us.

"I see, well, dehyrdation can be problematic."

"Yes it can be." Edward intergected.

"And the reason he thought that," Jasper continued, "Is because I had ketchup all over my mouth.."

"Ketchup?" Baker sounded skeptical. Bella jumped in again with an explanation.

"It was a red soda... so it's easily mixed up." I surpressed a giggle.

"And Jasper, might I ask why you had ketchup all over your face?"

There were five seconds of complete silence and I felt my husbands emotions switch again. Rdaiating off of him was disgust and anger. He sat up a little straighter and began to answer Bakers question with slightly more malice in his voice.

"The reason sir, is because my dear brother Emmett dared me to eat some." A loud guffaw came from the end of the table and Emmett doubled over in laughter. Rosalie sighed.

"Jasper buddy," Emmett attempted to speak through his hysteria, "You're only saying this because you're going through withdrawl from your meds!! I told you not to overmedicate but you're just SUCH AND ADDICT!!!"

"You're such an idiot Emmett!" Jasper stood up and nearly knocked over my chairi n the process, the anger was quickly turning into rage. "This is actually all your fault! If you were a little more mature and didn't INSIST that I eat ketchup because I accidentally stepped on your precious pet 'mr. spider' then Edward would have never attacked me. Alice would have never unintentionally stole all those clothes from the mall and we wouldn't be here!!"

It was now that Baker decided to jump back into the conversation.

"Do you over medicate Jasper?" My husband whipped his head around and nearly screamed.

"You're not more concerned about Emmett and his insanity? No I don't over medicate!"

"But you said you were an addict." Baker stared Jasper down and was clearly feeling some of the rage that Jasper was spewing out to everyone else in the room. "I think we need to delve into this medication problem. In fact, I would feel better if I called the hospital and checked your prescriptions. Please tell me the number of the hospital that you go to and the name of the docotr that you go to."

Jasper stared in bewilderment and slowly sat down again. Baker handed him a piece of paper and a pen and Jasper slowly took them. He wrote down Carlisle's number at the hospital and handed it back over to the detective.

_'Oh this should be rich'_

Edward nodded in agreement and smiled.

**There you go! Alice's POV... Next is Jasper POV! And Carlisle will be in it (on the phone anyways) Please review!!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING!**


	5. Chapter 5

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!!! I got over 20 more reviews!!! It makes my day to see people say that my story made them laugh outloud or that it's one of the funniest they've ever read! I LOVE YOU ALL! PLEASE KEEP IT UP!!!!! **

**thank you everyone! You all are so inspiring**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight**

Jasper POV

I can't believe this. I should have just made this idiot throw up earlier like I originally planned. For all I know we could have been on our way out of here by now but instead I'm handing over Carlisle's number to a complete stranger that thinks my siblings and I are all addict criminals.

I wonder what Carlisle will think when he's told that he and Esme have raised a bi-polar over medicated son who has a tendancy to get into fist fights over soda. If possible, it might sound more sane to tell them that they raised an empath vegetarian vampire with a tendancy to want human blood.

Edward made a barely audible chuckle.

_'Thanks Edward, I'm glad someone appreciates my humor. As for Emmett.. I think he needs to be the next one in the our lovely Detective Bakers line of fire.'_

Again he chuckled but this time nodded his head slightly as well.

"Excuse me sir," Rosalie's voice sounded like velvet. "I think that it might be a bad idea to bombard Jasper's doctor with this news." She began to twirl a few strands of her blonde hair around her fingers and raised one eyebrow in an attempt at seduction. My sister always tries to use her beauty to manipulate the men around her, I give her credit, it usually works.

"Oh and why is that?" Baker's voice hitched a little and Emmett sat up and puffed out his chest. Edward seemed to grimace and I was thankful to not have visual images to put with Bakers lusty feelings. If he ever felt this way about Alice then I really would.._drink some soda.._

"Well," Rosalie started again, "Because his doctor is also our father." It was strange because now Bella was the one who looked alarmed.

"Rose, no" Bella squeked. Edward squeezed her hand slightly and gave her a strange look. None of us knew why she reacted the way she did. To me, Rosalie didn't say anything terribley incriminating, but then I caught a glimpse of Bakers face.. and he looked horrified.

"You're, you're FATHER is your doctor?" I nodded. He then turned towards Alice and Rosalie and Emmett and Edward. "Is he ALL of your doctors as well?" They all nodded. "Isn't that slightly.. uncomfortable?"

I then had a revelation. Bella's squeek of a warning was because she is the only one of us that actually goes to the doctor. She's the only one that has any vivid and human knowledge of what exactly goes on at the doctor and what types of things patients and doctors talk about.

My god, our family was starting to look more and more unusual, and possibley illegal, by the moment. Once knowledge dawned upon me it dawned upon Edward as well and he jumped in to try and save Rosalie's blunder.

"Detective, our father is also our doctor but only when it comes to medical prescriptions. When it comes to...erm..._other_ stuff we each have our own seperate doctor." This seemed to ease Baker slightly and he pulled our a cell phone from his pocket.

"Thank you for that bit of information Edward. Now if you all don't mind I'm about to call your father and I would appreciate some respect and silence." I instinctively looked towards Emmett who started drumming his fingers on the table.

"No problem." Bella answered. Something told me that the Cullen clan plus Bella being quiet in jail would definitely be a problem.

The tiny phone in Detective Bakers hand looked like a toy and I would have thought it to be one if I did not all of a sudden hear my fathers voice on the other line.

"Hello this is Doctor Cullen." Everyone excluding Bella winced a little at the sound of Carlisle's voice. Bella would have probably started blushing but she didn't have the hearing that we had. Though Carlisle has always been a calm and composed father when it comes to us and our antics, his authoratative voice always sparks a small ounce of guilt and worry. The only reason that happens is because our parents always follow through with whatever punishment they come up with.

"Hi Doctor Cullen, this is Detective Baker with the Nashville county jail. I'm sorry to inform you but I'm calling because your children have been picked up by the police."

"I see," Carlisle spoke slowly.

"Yes well I'm afraid it's slightly serious.." Baker trailed off and looked me in the eyes for a few seconds before darting back towards his own shoe. "It seems that your son Jasper has an addiction to his bi-polar medication. He wrote you down as the prescribing doctor and I'm a little concerned."

"Yes that is very concerning." Carlisle still sounded calm even after hearing the ridiculous accusation against me.

"Well it seems that this medication issue was a potential instifator in the fight with your other son Edward."

"Jasper was fighting with Edward? Oh my.. can you please put Jasper on the phone?" Oh god, here it comes. He handed me the phone and I took an unecessary (literally) breath before talking.

"Hi dad."

"Jasper," Carlisle sounded worried, "is Bella in jail with all of you?" Edward Alice and I all raised an eyebrow at our fathers question. Emmett was too wrapped up in having a one-sided staring contest with the detective to notice the conversation going on. Rosalie was leaning back with her eyes closed and I think she was pretending to be asleep just so she wouldn't have to answer any questions.

"Yea she's right here, why?"

"Oh thank god. Well I asked because the cop that you all are with said that my children were in jail and I consider Bella my daughter but I assumed that he wouldn't think that... and then he said that you and Edward got into a fight. I guess my mind started wandering towards worst case scenarios. I thought she might have fallen and broken every bone in her body... or maybe gotten lost in a mall on one of Alice's crazy expeditions..."

Edward chuckled and Alice pouted. My lovely wife then reached out her hands in a request for the phone.

"No, no she's fine don't worry.. Alice however wants to talk to you."

"Ok very well put her on. And don't think that you're all not in some sort of trouble for whatever you all did." I grimaced and gave alice the cell.

"Carlisle," Her tone was assertive and confident, "First off, Bella is alive and well," Bella's eyes widenened and she began to turn red. "Secondly, I've been handcuffed for a while now and the metal is scraping my beautiful new bracelet. I need them to take the handcuffs off, Carlisle, this is a serious fashion emergency. Please help me and tell the detective that I am not a threat and deserve to be unhandcuffed."

"Alice, put the detective back on the phone. Now." Alice paused and her eyes stared off into space. I'd seen that look so many times before that I knew she was having a vision. When this particulare vision was over she looked panicked.

"NO CARLISLE DON'T! THAT'S CRUEL!" It was never a good sign when Alice started yelling after a vision.

"The detective, now." She handed over the cell phone and let her head fall onto my shoulder in defeat.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Cruel and unusual punishment.." Her voice trailed off and I kissed the top of her head. Baker started speaking to Carilisle again.

"Doctor, I feel I must inform you that I need to keep your children here for a while longer, we still haven't gotten to discussing Rosalie and Emmett's role in the situation that occured tonight."

"I leave my children completely in your hands detective. Also I think it might be informative to bring up Emmett and Rosalie's sex addiction when trying to figure out whatever reasons prompted their actions tonight." Carlisle's voice sounded like he was trying to surpress laughter. Rosalie's eyes then immediately opened from her fake slumber and Emmet was so startled that he blinked in bewilderment.

"DAMNIT! I LOST!" Emmett boomed. Baker looked confused and turned away from my brother.

"Thank you Doctor Cullen, that might help explain their clothing ensemble tonight as well."

The conversation ended and Baker shoved the phone back into his pocket. He stared as Rosalie and Emmett and then got up and walked towards the interogation room door.

"What's he doing?" Bella whispered towards Edward. Edward sighed and gently placed his arm over her shoulder.

"He's calling for security to take us to a seperate holding cell while he questions Emmet and Rosalie."

"Why?" Bella gave Rose a look of pity and Rosalie merely sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm not sure," Edward paused and then turned towards Alice, "But Carlisle has decided that whatever trouble we end up in here, he's not coming to post bail and get us out. We are fending for ourselves."

I started to feel fear wash all over Bella and did my best to send her some calming waves. She gave me a small smile to aknowledge my attempt and then buried herself further into Edwards chest. Alice then became very excited and a brilliantly beautiful smile crossed her face. She lunged toward one of her "stolen" bags of clothes and started rummaging through it. Her cheerful voice then began to fill the room.

"Don't worry family! If we are put in a situation that calls for escape, I've got the most perfect breakout of jail outfits! They're all black and we're doing it ninja style!"

I only hope it doesn't come to that.

**Thank you all so much for reading!!! All the reviews and favorites/alerts mean more to me than you could understand! YOU ALL INSPIRE ME TO KEEP WRITING THIS STORY!! I'm enjoying writing it and either Rosalie's or Baker's POV will be next.. and don't worry Emmett is coming as well!! PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING!**


	6. Chapter 6

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!! I'm ecstatic and can't even explain how happy the reviews make me! I love the feedback and am THRILLED at how much people like this story! If I can make just one person laugh outloud while reading this story then i've done my job!!! YOU ALL INSPIRE ME AND I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!! KEEP IT UP!**

**Baker POV**

If I can only get out of this room then I can compose myself and maybe get through this night alive. When I pushed my chair away and stood up to reach for the door handle I heard Miss Swan whisper speak about where I was going, but thats the last thing I heard.

Strangely enough When I exited the interogation room I felt as though I could breathe for the first time since the night began. What was it about those Cullen kids that had me so frazzled? And their father? It was already strange that he had decided to adopt all of them but then to have them all be married.. and for him to know about it? Plus Emmett and Rosalie must be very open at home about their sexual antic because Doctor Carlisle had _warned_ me about their sex addiction.

"Baker? You okay there?" I looked up to see Jason, a rather new cop on the scene staring at me. He looked a little wary.

"Yea, I'm fine, just a long night." He glanced towards my hand and I realised that I was leaning against the wall.

"You sure there?" I pushed off of the wall and straightened myself out while taking another breathe.

"Yup, no problem here." Jason nodded and started to walk off. Right before he left through the door he gave a little shout over his shoulder.

"And you call me the rookie." I chuckled slightly and realised that he was right. I was acting ridiculous. I reached into my pocket to grab my cell phone. Once in my hand I dialed in the number for security and asked them to go round up 3 of the 4 Cullens and Bella.

"Those kids that Todd brought in earlier tonight?" He questioned.

"Yes? Is that a problem?" There was a pause in the conversation. I pressed on. "Hello? Are you still there? I really need those kids to be held somewhere else. I need to question two of them alone." A few more seconds of silence followed.

"No it's fine... it's just I saw Todd run out after he brought them in... and I guess.." He trailed off. "It's fine I'll come get them just make sure they're ready to go. Where exactly do you want me to take them?"

"I don't know," I thought for a moment and tried to determine where the least terrible things were likely to occur. "Just put them in a jail cell, but I want no other inmates in with them."

He told me that it sounded like a good idea and that he was on his way and hung up. I took one last big gulp of air and turned around to go meet my doom with Emmet and Rosalie.

**Rosalie POV**

"So why do you think he wants to talk to us alone?" Emmett looked towards me and slowly slid his arm around my waist. Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper had just been taken out by an entirely seperate officer who looked terrified to be in the same room as us.

"I don't know, maybe he's intimidated to question us with the rest of the family watching." My skirt rose up a little with every movement I made and I was constantly readjusting it. "Or maybe," I started again, "he wants to question us alone because he thinks that you're a drug addict pimp and i'm your whore."

"But he thinks Jasper is a drug addict too! It's not fair."

Suddendly the door to the room opened once again to reveal our dear Detective Baker. Emmett's face broke into an exceptionally large smile and I wished that I had my brothers power to read his mind.

"Detective! What's up man? Are my siblings being secretly tortured by the CIA? Because if they are.. go easy on Bella." I've been married to Emmett for probably more than twice the length of this guys life and I'm well accustomed to my husbands humor and sarcasm, but Baker was fairly flustered.

"What? NO! Of course not! That would be unconstitutional!" He face turned a shade of Bella red, but not from embarassment, from lack of oxygen.

"He was kidding."

"Oh," Baker walked over to his chair from earlier and plopped down into it. "Well I think it would be appropriate for you two to tell me about how you were involved in the situations that occured earlier tonight."

"Detective Baked, you'll see that Rose and me had very little to do with what happened tonight." I felt worry start to build in the pit of my long unused stomach. I hoped Emmett wouldn't dig us into a hole.

"Is that right?"

"Totally! In fact I think you should probably just let us go. All we did was.. spend some.. _quality_ time together until we were rudely interupted by our family and then evne more rudely arrested."

Baker shifter uncomfortabley.

"Well, if i'm not mistaken I thought I heard Jasper say that it was your harassment that lead to him eating ketchup. That then lead him to engage in a fight with his brother. Don't you think that is partially your fault?" Emmett's hand started to slowly creep towards my thigh.

"Absolutely not." I felt my eyes widen a little. Emmett and I were in here because of a sexual misunderstang and he was trying to get me to jump him on the table infront of Baker himself!

"Mr. Cullen, if you chose to not take responsibility in part to your brothers trouble, that is your own personal issue. However, the matter of you and Ms. Cullen's attire is an entirely different matter."

"Mrs. Cullen sir, not Ms." I purred while flashing my ring. Baker merely trembled slightly and continued.

"Mrs. Cullen has claimed at multiple time tonight that she is infact not a prostitute. She seems very confident in her exclaims but I therefore need a reason for what she is wearing." I cleared my throat until I got his attention.

"She is sitting right here." Baker gawked. "And she's pretty sure that Emmett has already explained why she is in this outfit." I tried to use my most mocking and authoritative voice to throw the detective off his game.

"Yea," Emmett started, "the outfit was just lying around being unused so we thought hey why not! I mean who doesn't like sexy cheerleader right?" I yanked Emmett's hand off of my panty line and he looked at me like a kicked puppy.

"Lying around the house?" Baker looked incredulously at me. "Do you have other things just lying around not being used?" This man was disgusting. Sure he looked like a timid flustered human but underneath he was a sexually repressed pig. Yes I have plenty of other things lying around the house that are unused. When you've been a vampire for as long as I have you'll see that things start to collect... Clothes, shoes, purses, every generation of ipod, degree's.... Degree's. A lightbulb sprang to life inside of my mind and I swear that I could faintly hear the sound of Alice's laughter from wherever she was being held.

"Detective Baker." I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms. "Is it fair to say that you have a comfortable life?" My question caught him off guard. Perfect, exactly what I wanted.

"Y-yes, I think it's air to say that... but I don't really see what that has to d-"

"Are you happy with your life?" I cut him off.

"Yes."

"Tell me why you are happy. I would like to understand what types of things make you happy. Do you have a family?" Baker's eye twitched and Emmett gave me a questioning glance.

"I have a wife." His voice was a little quieter then before. Serves him right, lets see how he likes being interrogated.

"Do you and your wife get along well?" My voice was like liquid.

"Yes."

"What types of things do you do together? Do you go out on dates still? Cozy up together on a cool night?" Emmett's hand somehow found a way back onto my leg. I didn't care.

"We go grocery shopping." Baker's eyes were darting around the room to look for a distraction. I could hear his heartrate start rising. Time to drop the bombshell.

"Would you say that you two have a sufficient sex life?" Emmett instintually pulled my chair and body closer to his. Our favorite Detective's mouth started to mechanically open and close like a fish out of water.

"I don't think that is any of your business Mrs. Cullen." He spit out his words quickly and slurred some of them. His heart sped up even more.

"I think it is," I smiled and uncrossed my arms to lean forward. "In fact, I think that maybe you are so convinced that Emmett and I have done something wrong tonight because you are actually envious of the open and healthy sex life we have with each other." I was on a roll.

Emmett started to laugh and then reached over with his bear of a hand to pat Baker on the shoulder.

"It's ok Baked! You can tell us, we might even be able to give you some pointers on how to liven up things with the Mrs.!'

"I-I.." I wondered if he was going to pass out when Emmett offered sexual tips. but instead he just scurried to his feet and ran towards the door. Emmett looked at me and leaned in for a kiss. When he pulled back he was smirking.

"I'm proud of you Rose, he's probably running home right now." I heard faint voices coming from the otherside of the one way mirror behind us. It was Baker. He was talking to someone about moving Emmett and I to a holding cell with the rest of the family. Emmett must have heard them too because he wrapped his arms around me. "Yes! Pretty soon we'll all be in the same room and I think we're going to plan some sort of escape plan because remember, Alice packed accordingly."

"Probably," I sighed and leaned into my husband.

"And anyways, once the Cullens.." Emmett paused, "and Bella... get together there's nothing we can't do. As long as Bella doesn't fall and die or anything... because then I think Edward would get distracted.. and then Alice would get upset.. and if there's blood then we'd lose Jasper... and I really like Bella so I would care... and you two have gotten to be close...and-" I placed a finger on his mouth as a way of stopping his ramblings.

"I get it." He grinned and I gave him another kiss before Baker came back into the room.

"Alright you two, come on. We're putting you with the rest of your family for the time being before we work out what else we need to question you about." I stood up and once again readjusted my skirt. Baker looked away and while Emmett and I trailed behind him out the door.

Baker thought he was being discrete but I saw him reach into his pocket and pull out his cell phone. He 'whispered' into it.

"Hi honey, it's Earl.. I guess you're phone's off but... well.. uh... I was hoping maybe we could spend some time together tonight?"

I laughed. I knew that my pyschology degree would come in handy one day.

**I hope you all enjoyed it!! Emmett's POV will be next and during that chapter they will begin to break out of jail! Get ready for more laughs.. and many more crazy adventures!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING I LOVE YOU ALL AND KEEP READING/REVIEWING!!!!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!!! I WAS THRILLED AND AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT PEOPLE ARE CONTINUING TO HAVE SUCH POSITIVE REVIEWS OF THIS STORY!!!!!! KEEP IT UP AND AGAIN I CAN'T THANK YOU ALL ENOUGH!!!!**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Twilight, Yes, I feel stupid for stating the obvious.**

**ENJOY!**

Emmett POV

Baked lead Rose and me down a long and very boring hallway to a room with a heavy dead bolt door at the end. After fumbling for quite some time with his keys and then dropping them a bunch of times, and then jumping at the sound of me laughing at him... he eventually unlocked the door and lead us inside.

Baked didn't even stay long to make sure we were settled in and fine, as soon as we stepped into the room he scurried back out and locked it from the outside. I saw a flicker of panic in Bella's eyes and Edward tightened his embrace around her shoulders.

"Don't worry love, Emmett alone could easily punch down that door, we're not trapped." I beamed with pride. Yes dear brother I could punch through that door. In fact, this might be the PERFECT opportunity to test out my new ninja jump kick. "No." Edward looked at me and just shook his head. He's always spoiling my fun.

"Fine, but if we do have to breakdown the door then I am going to do it in style." My words immediately perked Alice up. "Manly style Alice, not fashionista girly style." My sister pouted and then hopped up onto Jasper's lap.

"Rosalie that was genius by the way!" Alice trilled. "As soon as you remembered all the degree's you had I saw what you were going to do and oh! It was just too funny!" I walked over an empty chair next to Edward and Bella, who were sitting identically to Jasper and Alice, and sat down with a huff.

"Do any of you have any other interesting degree's I don't know about?" Bella questioned. Her eyes lingered on each of our faces and I pondered telling her about the most embarassing degree anyone in the Cullen family had obtained. Edward read my thoughts and gave me a warning look but I could feel myself about to spit it out. Jasper then sent a wave of calm in my direction but it didn't help.

"Well, now that you mention it..." Rosalie slapped my head and Alice jumped up off of Jaspers lap while giving me one of the deadliest glares I'd ever seen her give.

"Don't." Her warning was simple and I bit my lip to both hold back the laughter threatening to break through and the secret I was about to expose.

"What?" Bella sensed the dicomfort and managed to summon up the most peculiar expression of confusion on her face. What a silly little human.

"Nothing love, just forget about it." Edward again gave me a look. Everyone in the room was now staring at me. I squirmed in my seat and then closed my eyes. I couldn't hold it in... I placed both hands over my mouth but like some sick and twisted power was prompting my actions I all of a sudden screamed...

"JASPER HAS A MASTERS DEGREE IN BALLET!" Uh-oh.

In a flash Jasper had pounced and Alice began to desperately try and seperate us from each other. I caught a glimspe of Bella surpressing a giggle and even Edward and Rosalie looked like they were smirking. Jasper began throwing punches into my shoulder and muttering about the ethics of public humiliation. Though my brother was trying to inflict pain he was not being anymore malicious then when Edward him and I get into a wrestling match at home so I knew I was somewhat in the clear. Alice's voice however started to ring in my ears.

"EMMETT CULLEN! You know how much Jasper does NOT like you talking about that!!" Again I tried to bite back my laughter.

"But he's so talented.." Was all I could get out before another punch went straight into the center of my shoulder blades. Bella's voice then called out and grabbed Jasper's attention.

"Jasper, I think that dancing is very respectable.. I can't dance at all so you're already more talented then me." Her genuine kindness helped ease Jasper's rage a little bit and he jumped off my back.

"Just wait Emmett... when you least expect it..." I cut him off before he could finish his threat.

"What? You'll sign me up for the nutcracker?" Again I found myself pinned down against the cement floor.

"EVERYONE STOP!" Rosalie's booming voice froze us all. Jasper and I both looked up at the voice of our distraction and saw that Rosalie was pointing towards Alice who had a glazed over far off look in her eyes. Jasper was off of me and next to her in a second and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Alice, what do you see?" Alice snapped back to present time and then looked frantically at the door and then back towards me.

"You idiot! The guards heard rattling around in here and Baker assumes Edward and Jasper got into a fight over soda again! The're coming to put us in seperate rooms and that can't happen because then we wont be able to escape..." She trailed off and then ran towards her obscenely large purse and pulled out electrical tape and small scissors. "Here," she thrust them into my hands, "you and Rosalie will need these now quickly kick down the door!"

Bella looked to be getting panicky again because when Alice starts to freak it usually means are future is looking pretty bad and we have few options to change it around. I looked down at the objects in my hand in wonder.

"Alice, why do you carry these things in your ba-"

"KICK DOWN THE DOOR!" I flinched and then ran right through the door instead of kicking it down. By doing so I left a large Emmett cut out shape in the steal.

"Great," Edward mumbled while climbing through the strange opening with Bella stumbling through infront of him, "Like they all don't think we're weird enough... now there is a cut out of one of our bodies in steal deadbolted door. That wont look suspicious." I gave him a shrug.

"You try having Alice scream at you like that and then see how well you plan things out in your head."

We were now all standing in the very boring hallway once again and Alice had lined us up against one of the walls. She stood infront and started assigning us each a job.

"We have exactly 4 minutes and 32 seconds until Baker and two particularly large guards come into this hall way so I'm going to talk fast, explain little, and hope you keep up." I felt like I was in boot camp. "Emmett and Rosalie will stick together as will Edward and Jasper and Bella and I." Edward interrupted her.

"What? Alice, no I'm not leaving Bella." As if to further prove his point he wrapped both his arms around Bella's waist.

"Edward, who's the pyschic around here huh? Me. Not you. You ARE in fact leaving her and she will be with me. Don't worry I'll keep her safe but it must work this way now stop interrupting we're running out of time!" Edward knew he was defeated. Damn, never bet against Alice.. "Emmett and Rosalie are going to cut the power so that the cameras wont be able to give away our location in the building. Edward and Jasper are going to sneak into Baker's office and steal any and all records involving our arrest tonight while Bella and I break five random windows in the building open as decoys. Then we will meet at the front in," She paused and looked down at a watch on her wrist that I had never noticed before, "8 minutes."

Bella's mouth hung open while she listened to Alice's speedy explanation of our escape route.

"Alice, how are we supposed to do all this in 8 mintues?" Bella asked in horror and shock. "I can't even run in a straight line without falling a couple of times, surely something will happen to stall us.."

"Nope," Alice had on a huge grin. "You'll be with me silly! I'll see if you're about to fall so don't worry." Faint footsteps could be heard and I knew that Baked and his crew were about to come in and try to bust us crazy cop style. I grabbed Rose's hand and started to drag her down the hallway. This would be fun! I could me Cullen, Emmett Cullen for a whole 8 minutes.

"Emmett!" Rosalie hissed at me and stopped moving making it nearly extremely difficult to pull against her vampire strength.

"What?" I asked and then followed her hand gesture towards an extremelt agitated Alice who was jumping up an down. I walked back over to where her, Jasper, Edward and Bella still stood. "What?" I asked again this time even more confused.

"Emmett you can't just walk off like that in a middle of an escape plan!" Alice scolded.

"But I thought you were done explaining."

"I was." I hated when she did this. "But," She started again, "I hadn't said 'go'." We all stared at her and Edward shook his head in good old Eddie boy fashion.

"Alice...?" Jasper rubbed small circles into his wife's back, clearly thinking she'd gone insane. Before Bella knew what happened Alice flung her onto her back and then simply shouted..

"GO"

**Hope you all liked the chapter!!! I'm SO looking forward to writing the escape more indepth because it turns into more of a chase with Baker hot on their tails! THANK YOU ALL FOR CONTINUING TO READ AND FOR REVIEWING!!! KEEP IT UP!!!! IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO KNOW YOU ALL LIKE THIS STORY!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**WOW! Another AMAZING batch of reviews!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!! YOU ALL ARE AMAZING AND I HOPE THIS CHAPTER MAKES YOUR DAYS! OR ATLEAST MAKES YOU SMILE/LAUGH! AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK!**

**Disclaimer: Yea we know I don't own Twilight... nbd..**

Jasper POV

I love my wife, I really do, but I _worry_ sometimes.

"Worry? That would be an understatement." Edward remarked and then continued to shuffle through Bakers papers. It had been exactly 1 mintue and 17 seconds since Alice yelled 'go' and Edward and I were trying to complete our responsibility in this so called mission.

"Yea well atleast my wife doesn't have to have a vampire with her at all times just to keep her from injuring herself." That won me a glare. I opened a file cabinet draw and skimmed through the papers. Nothing interesting, no records of us and our pyschotic family. "Find anything?"

"No."

Agitation was pulsing from Edwards whole body. He hated being away from Bella, even with the guarentee of her safety with Alice. I guess I couldn't really blame him.

"Maybe Baker didn't have time to write up a report on us yet," I suggested, "Or maybe it's just not in here.." Edward smiled and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Are you suggesting that Alice is wrong?" I chuckled and shook my head 'no'.

"You're right, Alice is never wrong." Edward picked up the desk and started to look under the rug.

"What are you looking for?" He didn't even look towards me as he deadpanned his response.

"A trap door." I leaned against one of the bookshelves that lined the tiny and dull walls. A quick glance towards the clock told me that another minute had escaped my brother and I. The lights then flickered and went out. Rosalie and Emmett must have successfully accomplished their part.

"Edward," The lights then came back on and I could hear a 'whap' sound somewhere in the building. It sounded like Rosalie's hand meeting Emmett's head. Again the lights went out... and then on... and then another 'whap'... and then darkness again. "I highly doubt that there is a trap door in this room."

Edward placed the rug and desk back down and then ran his hand through his hair while letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I know. It's just so frustrating that we're in this situation in the first place. I just want to get the hell out of this place." He slumped up against the wall near the only window in the room and surveyed the room. I always know when Edward is in deep concentration because he displays no emotion during this time. He uses all of his energy to focus and not portray his emotions... It's probably why he is the most sociopathic out of the whole family. "I've got it!"

My brother jumped up and ran towards the bookshelf I was leaning against. He reached for a thick book diagonally up from my right shoulder and flipped open the cover. To my surprised , the middle of the pages in the book had been cut out and inside it was a small key. Edward took the key and then ran towards the only painting in the room and ripped it off the wall to reveal a safe.

"How did you know to look in a book?" I asked in wonder. Edward unlocked the safe and pulled out a fat manilla folder labele 'CULLEN & SWAN' and started towards the door.

"Where do you think Emmett keeps the key to his safe?"

"Emmett has a safe?" I questioned, "Emmet has a book?!" I didn't know which surprised me more.

"Actually," Edward paused and gave me a strained look, "The book is yours... Do you remember when you lost your original copy of East of Eden back in 84'?" I nodded. "Yea, well, Emmett has been using it to hide his key to the vault he uses to hide all of his and Rose's sex..._trinkets_..."

I gaped at him.

"WHAT?!? THAT WAS A PRICELESS BOOK!" The sound of windows smashing sounded down the hall. Edward and I sidestepped into the stairwell and started our way towards the front door. "And-" I continued, "Emmett told me that Sparky ate that book!"

A brief memory of the only pet we ever owned flashed through my head. Edward laughed.

"Yea well, I think Sparky met his demise when you ate him." I shivered at the memory and then at the expression had on her face when I had to tell her I ate our family rabbit. _'Never again will this family own a pet.'_ Edward read my mind and continued to chuckle. I glared at him and picked up speed down the stairs.

"Who the hell decides to bring home a rabbit as a pet in a hosue full of vampires anyway." The memory of Emmett's trembling lip and desperate pleas to keep him popped up in my head. "It's all Emmett's fault. He's the one who insisted that he become a member of our family." Edward nodded in agreement.

"Yeah remember when he considered to create an army of vampire rabbits?" I stopped short and that and turned towards my brother.

"Thank god we talked him out of it." I paused and wrung my hands, "I don't know about you but something about the idea of undead super powered rabbits that feed on blood scares even me."

Edward shrugged and nudged me to keep walking.

"What time is it?" I looked towards my wrist and realised that I wasn't wearing a watch.

"I don't know, but we better hurry, I don't want to sleep on the couch tonight."

The closer and closer we got towards the main entrance of the jail, the more rich and bright the paint on the walls got. I figured that they only painted the begining on the jail to give the illusion of high maintnence. Edward and I quickly paced down the last couple of steps and clipped through the door next to the elevator. Alice, Bella, Emmett, and Rose were standing next to an unaturally large cactus and Alice was tapping her foot impatiently. Bella looked scared, Rosalie looked annoyed, Emmett looked excited.

"DUDE!" Emmett shouted and was met with three 'shhh's' by the women. He mouth sorry and then started making frantic hand motions to make up for his lack of volume. "Jasper, Edward, you guys are going to mess up the plan! Hurry up!" Emmett never really felt the need to speak quietly and I theorized many times that he simpled didn't know how to mojulate his voice. His last few sentences therefore came out at more of a whisper yell.

"Bella, love, are you alright?" Edward scooped her up in his arms and kissed her forhead. He heart rate sped up and I couldn't help but smile at my little sisters haywire emotions. She was so easily flustered.

Alice danced over towards me and grabbed my hand. Her eyes glistened with excitement and future possibilities.

"Am I late?" I asked. She let out a tinkle of a laugh.

"Yes, but I still love you. And it's ok because so is Baker." Alice's face broke out into a smile and I felt all of her love wash over me. I smiled back.

"THERE THEY ARE!" A bellow was made from both ends of the hallway and Baker and Emmett were both pointing at each other while shouting the previous exlamation. I turned to the wonderful woman in my arms.

"Aluce I thought you said he was late." She contorted her face slightly and sighed.

"I guess he made a last minute decision to not eat that donut after all..."

Baker started to make his way towards us but I couldn't really tell whether of not he was running or galloping. It looked like he was stuck somewhere in between.

"Now what?" Rosalie asked with one foot out the door and ready to bolt. "We sure as hell can't run out of here now. Well you know not at our speed." Bella tried to conceal a smile at Rose's words.

"We'll have to steal a car.." Alice mused while going through different scenarios in her head. Thats great if we have to steal a car...we're already IN jail, and for ridiculous reasons. If our argument earlier in the night was that we hadn't done anything illegal.. that sure was not going to be true by the time we get home.

"Alice," Edward's voice was tight with annoyance. "No, we're not doing that. I will never be seen in one of those... those _attrocities_." Bella's eyes widened at the thought that something would disturb Edward to such an extent. He was usually passive about physical attributed of inaniment objects.

"Don't even try to get out of this!" Alice fought back. "I just had a vision and it's the only car that is big enough for all of us and that will be near by... " She turned to look at me. "Jazzy," Her voice softened into a goo that was impossible to say no to and I knew I was in trouble.

"Yes?"

"You and Edward are going to need to hi-jack a car.... Do you still remember how?"

"Yes," I didn't like where this was going. What car could be so attrocious that even Edward was cringing.

"Good!" Alice gave a little hop and then turned to grab Bella again. "Bella and I will be hiding in the bushes along with Emmett and Rose.

"Great." Rosalie rolled her eyes at the thought of crouching in a bush and hiding from a human.

"And boys," Alice turned towards us with parting words. "The ice cream truck is around the corner to the right."

"Ice cream truck?!?" I nearly yelled. Edward gave me a look that said she was being serious and then trudged towards the door himself.

Baker was nearly ontop of us now and looked already out of breath from making a long jog down the hallway.

My god. Ice cream.

**I hoep you all liked it!!! KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!!! IT MAKES IT ALL WORTH WHILE!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR BEING SO GREAT!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**All of you are SO amazing! I can't even thank you all enough for all the reviews you write and the favoriting and alerting... i have over 2,000 hits on this story! it's unreal!**

**I'd also like to add how sorry I am for the delayed update! It's been crazy for me because I had to write my junior thesis (thank god it's done with) and I had bank theft and i've been running around trying to fix that. (which I did) but now I can take a moment to breathe! **

**SO without further ado... here's Bella's pov! We've got some crazy cullen memories from way back. Also... I know that there probably weren't ice cream trucks back when Rosalie was turned but... just humor me..**

**Disclaime: I will never own Twilight... lets just face it.**

Bella POV

An ice cream truck? Sure it doesn't really seem like the most stylish car, especially for the Cullens, but I couldn't really see why it bothered Edward so much. Yes, Jasper looked upset as well but he more so looked annoyed.. Edward looked..._perturbed_.

Alice took my hand and dragged me into a gathering of hedges. Emmett was already hiding in the midst of them and having way too much fun for the situation we were in. Rosalie seemed to be taking her time and was a few feet behind Alice and I. She looked so bored that it almost made me laugh.

"Alice?" I tugged on her arm a little in more of an attempt to get her attention. We started to crouch in preparation to jump out and into our get-a-way vehical and I could feel myself start to lose balance.

"Yes Bella?" I rocked on my heels and then felt a massive hand on my back stopping me before I went all the way down. I turned towards Emmett with an appreciative smile and then repositioned myself into an indian style seat on the grass.

"Why does Edward hate ice cream trucks so much?" Emmett and Alice both smirked as a memory moved through their minds, but much to my surprise it was Rosalie who burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Oh that was before their time!" Rosalie choked out and then doubled over in laughter. "They know the story, but trust me," She tried to compose herself, "it was TEN times funnier to witness it."

I was still confused.

"So..." I quirked an eyebrow at Rosalie in an attempt to encourage her to keep talking. She reminded me of Alice at the moment and turned to sit down indian style along by my side.

"This is by far one of the funniest memories I have," she fought back another set of giggles and continued. "The whole incident happened not too long after I was turned. Carlisle thought that it would be a good idea to take us all on some type of family trip. I was the newest member so I think he really just wanted to use it as an excuse to bond."

Alice momentarily forgot about the mission and was now turned to face us listening to the story as well. Something told me that this was one of Rosalie's favorite stories to retell.

"Well I had never been to Italy and was just dying to go there. Edward had been there already and tried to talk his way out of going but Carlisle wouldn't have any of it. He told Edward that there was nothing he could do to get out of going." Another wave of laughter shook Rose's core and I had to really listen to understand her next sentence. "But we never expected Edward to be kidnapped!"

I dropped my jaw and looked at her in shock. Kidnapped? Edward Cullen who always warns me about the dangers of the outside world managed to get hiself kidnapped.

"Rose the truck will be here in five minutes so talk fast!" Alice chirped with enthusiasm. She was enjoying the story, god knows how many times she's heard it before.

"Ok, well yes like I said, we didn't expect Edward to get kidnapped. I was going out to hunt before the trip and Edward was supposed to stay back and pack all of our stuff into the car. But, my dear brother got himself into a mess.." I was trying to conjur the pictures of Edward in my mind. "The house that we were living at during the time was much more open then the one we live in now. It was easy to be seen by humans."

Oh god I could see where this was going.

"When I came back from hunting I had managed to just barely see Edward locked in the back of an ice cream truck with the most frustrated expression on his face." I had to laugh at that. My strong vampire fiance being kept hostage in the back of an ice cream truck.

"How did he get in there?" I questioned.

"Oh this is the best part!" Emmett boomed and started to edge forward.

"He claims," Rosalie said very skeptically, "he claims that the driver saw him lifting all of our luggage with only one hand and wanted to sell him to the government." This time all four of us were laughing. "I however think that is a lie and that he really just got attracted to the van because of all the bright colors." I clutched my sides and desperately started gasping for air. It was times like this where I envied the fact that my vampire family didn't have to breath. Laughing was probably such an easier task.

"What h-happened n-next?" I choked out between gasps.

"Well Carlisle went to go find him. I told him that I saw him being taken away and it really wasn't that hard to find him... but... apparently when he did find him, the driver was making him hand out ice cream to all of the little kids that were frolicking around the car." A surge of panic went through my mind when I thought I might actually pee myself while laughing.

Edward taken captive.

Edward taken captive in an ice cream truck.

Edward _serving_ ice cream while captive.

I don't think I will ever heard anything funnier or picture anything funnier in my entire life. It understood now why he was so not looking forward to our next few hours of driving. Emmett began to clap and Alice vibrated with giggles. Rosalie stood up and took a bow.

"I'm never letting him live that down... Especially all that he warns me about."

"Don't worry, we never let him live it down either." Rosalie said and sure enough already sounded bored again. I began mumbling to myself.

"Maybe we need a little lesson on stranger danger.." I forgot that I was with vampires with super human hearing and jumped a little when Emmett guffawed and slapped his knee for emphasis.

"That was hilarious Bella!" I beamed and felt somewhat accomplished. Then somewhere in the distance a faint sound started playing. It was a sickeningly sweet melody that you would hear at a carnival. I automatically went to block my ears from having to hear the horrible tune when it started to get louder. Realization hit me when tires could be heard accompaning the song. I inwardly grumbled and dropped my hands to my side again.

"Alice.." I could hear the whine in my voice and hated it but this was just too much. "Will that stupid song be playing the whole time we're driving?" It was then that the ice cream truck came into my sight and I suddently sympathised with Edward.

"As of now," Alice slumped her little shoulders ever so slightly, "yes."

Edward threw open the back doors and the truck came to a screeching stop.

"Subtle." Rosalie chided. Edward expression was furious and I figured he might be reaching his breaking point.

"Right! And like this ostentacious noise blaring from the top of it wasn't going to draw any attention to ourselves!" It came out as a near growl and I walked up to my love and smoothed a hand through his hair. Some of his tension seemed to visibley dissipate and we all crawled out from the hedges and into the stupid white contraption on wheels.

"So how was the hi-jacking?" I peeked a glance at Jasper in the drivers seat and he rolled his eyes and then glanced at Edward.

"We had a few issues.." Jasper said while slamming his foot down on the accelerator. I fell a little from the sudden force but again I was caught by strong hands. This time I looked to see my love holding me securely.

"Issues?" I prodded. Edward sighed and then looked into my eyes. I felt myself begin to get a little dizzy at his dazzling beauty.

"Yes, I didn't want to have to sit in the back but Jasper insisted on driving." I bit my lip and tried not to smile.

"Spend time in the back of ice cream trucks often?" I could feel my face start to turn red at my own joke while Edward furrowed his brows. He then shot a glare at Rosalie.

"You told her about that?!?" Rose shrugged and examined her nails.

"She wanted to know why you were acting like such a freak." She paused and lifted herself with a thoughtful look on her face. "Or well, you know, freakier than usual." I giggled and pulled myself closer into Edwards chest.

"Don't worry I wont bring it up again," I whispered into him and looked up to catch a glimpse of my favorite crooked smile.

Suddenly the twisted music above of started to blend into another sound that was even more torturous. I winced at the now grating sound against my ear. Alice let out an annoyed sigh.

"Oh no.." She then manuevered herself from the passenger seat next to Jasper and went to look out the back window. "Looks like we've got a tail."

It was then that I identified the new sound and noticed the flashing blue and red lights.

**Please keep reviewing and let me know what you think! Again I can't thank you all enough!!! YOU ARE ALL SO AWESOME I DON'T DO YOU JUSTICE!**


	10. Chapter 10

**UNREAL! YOU GUYS JUST KEEP ASTOUNDING ME WITH THE REVIEWS! I'M LIKE A LITTLE KID IN A BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SHOP.**

**or a shop with all of my favorite things!!! **

**I honestly can't even thank you all enough because you're all SO amazing!!! keep it up!!**

**Also I saw Spring Awakening and it was UNBELIEVABLE AND AMAZING! I suggest everyone go and see it and just let the emotions intoxicate you.**

**So I was pretty excited to write another Emmett POV because I wanted to just put him in his dream situation. Playing ridiculous pranks of unsuspecting humans! I hope I did a good job so please let me know!**

**OH also I totally forgot to give credit to **jamstar4eva **for the idea to have the ice cream truck play music while they were chased. Thanks!**

**ENJOY!**

Emmett POV

A CAR CHASE! Man I haven't had a really hardcore car chase with police in atleast over... a month. Wow, that's so disappointing... Oh and I bet Bella has never been in a car chase! Well not one where her life isn't in life or death danger because crazed vampires are trying to kill her. This is going to be so much fun!

"Emmett! I don't want you getting excited about the fact that Bella has to be thrown into this situation!" Edward snapped at me. I huffed.

"I'm not excited that she's in the situation, I'm excited because she gets to _experience_ the situation." So there.

"That's the same thing! Being in a situation and experiencing the situation aren't any different from each other!"

I looked at him in shock. How could he say that? And he calls me the moron all the time.

"They are so different Edward." All I got in return was an eye roll and another pinch of the bridge of his nose. "Careful Eddie, one day you'll pinch that nose right off." I slapped the the inside wall of the truck and accidentally left an imprint of my hand. God, why do I keep forgetting that I am a strong sexy man tonight... I'm just so hot that I forget that I'm so stron-

"EMMETT!" Edward screamed. I shrugged. I guess this will teach him to live inside of other people's heads. Clearly he's the jealous type.

"Maybe we should just kick Emmett out of the car." I whipped my head around in shock as my Rosie's voice purred out my exile.

"What?! Rose! Why?" She stood up and (dangerously close to hitting her head on the ceiling) kicked off her red stilletos from earlier in the night. One of the heels jammed me in the stomach with a force to be reckoned with.

"Why Emmett?! Because I am in this horrendous outfit with a disgustingly lust ridden cop chasin after me under the false presumption that I am a prostitute! THAT is why you should get out of the car! You need to go fix this and tell that cop where to shove his gun! TELL HIM TO SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS!"

I was a little dumbfounded, and turned on. Rosalie is always sexy, but even more so when she's mad. I could feel my head nod in agreement but how the hell was I supposed to fix this? Sure I could probably crush the car and the tiny police man inside with one swift movement... but that would only bring us more problems. I'm sure the rest of the family doesn't want to be brought up on homicide charges too. What else will I be able to do to get Baked to stop and listen to us? Play dead?

Edward gave me an appraising look and Alice nearly jumped through the roof with excitement. Her black spiky hair a blur as she danced around the ice cream freezers.

"Emmett that's perfect!" Alice squeled while clapping her hands. Bella Jasper and Rosalie all continued to stare in... _shock?_

"Alice, did you just say what I think you just said?" Jasper asked in an anxious voice.

"Yes! Emmett just came up with the way we'll lose Baker!" Bella again gave me a disbelieving look and turned towards Edward who merely shook his head in agreement with Alice.

"He didn't mean to think of it." Edward said which for some reason gave everyone in the car with me reassurance.

"You guys need to have a little more faith in me!" I said while smiling. "Because just when you thought all had failed Emmett comes up with a genius idea!"

"That usually means everything had already failed." Rosalie snickered. I couldn't bare to keep my hands off her anymore. I pulled her onto my lap and draped both my arms over her shoulders. She first showed indifference but like I knew she would, My Rosie melted into me.

"So," I sighed and was tickled by Rosalie's blonde hair in the process. "What genius plan did I come up with?" Probably something very heroic. Maybe i'll save a child, or maybe a rabbit... geez... this family should get another pet.

"You're going to play dead."

Dead? Play dead?

I could see Jasper's eyes widen in the side mirror and the cars speed wavered a little.

"Alice, please don't tell me that it's gonna be me again.." Jasper's voice was clipped and nervous and in return I all of a sudden started to panic about whether or not I left my playstation game out on the floor back at home.

"No!" Alice's words relieved my brother and therefore relieved me and probably everyone else. Sometimes our little empath forgets what an influence he has on us. Or maybe he sometimes just pretends to forget. "Emmett is the one that will be playing dead this time." That grabbed my attention.

"ME?!" Bella threw me a startled look and then cringed away into Edwards body. Oh boy Bella if only you knew that these are declarations of joy. I LOVE PLAYING DEAD!

"Don't worry Bella," Edward rolled his eyes and wrapped her closer to him. "Emmett loves playing dead." He smirked a little.

It's true. I really do love playing dead. Jasper is the only one who ever needs to ever pretend to die in freak accidents and ever since the one time he was nearly cut open in the morge he's gotten really weird about it. I was then bumped to the number one corpse spot.

"What does playing dead entail?" Bella asked no one in particular. I was about to answer her in incredible detail when all of a sudden I felt myself being thrown from the back of the truck and hitting both the concrete and a police cruiser. Alice was now standing at the open door and pointing towards where I lay motionless on the road. She looked over to Bella.

"It entails that."

I didn't dare open my eyes to see the look of horror on Bella's face and to see the amusement on the rest of my family's faces. I was supposed to be a dead corpse, and unless you're me or Rosalie, or Edward, or Alice, or Jasper, or Carlisle, or Esme, or any other vampire ever...

You don't open your eyes after you die. So I didn't.

An ear piercing scream sounded from the car that hit me and I figured that Baked probably pissed himself. The sound of car doors slamming and wheels screeching could be heard all around me. Many different pairs of feet were running towards me. Familiar hands grabbed at my head.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" Rosalie screamed while fake sobbing and shaking me. A little too roughly for the situation if you ask me... she must still be upset about her current clothing ensemble..

"I-I I didn't see him! He just flew out of the car!" It sounded like Baked was about to cry himself. "You! You threw him out of the car!"

"How can you say that?" If I was alive I think I would have died from heart break at the sound of Alice's voice. Her true calling in life should have been an actress. There was the perfect wavering in her voice and her sniffles and sobs sounded very similar to the times I've heard Bella cry. "He's my brother! I would never hurt him! And how would I even be able to throw him? Look at how big he is and how little I am!"

I nearly laughed. Alice was likely the deadliest of us all, mostly because she was the most deceiving.

Foreign hands were now grabbing at me and getting dangerously close to my butt... This was a test of self restraint because I was so close to jumping up and calling this whole thing off. I'm supposedly dead and Baked is trying to cop a feel. (no pun intended)

"Excuse me," Edwards voice sent relief through me when I realised he must have heard my thoughts. "I wouldn't appreciate it if you don't disturb my dear brothers body." Wow even Edward had a little whimper in his voice.

"I'm calling 911." Bella's voice genuinely was trembling and I worried that she might have forgotten that i've been technically dead since the day I met her, and that this no breathing thing I was now doing was really abnormal for me... or for anyone of us. I mean how many months has she spent with Edward and his non-breathing?

"No love it's too late.." Edward was, from what I could hear, comforting a now sobbing Bella.

"But he was so young!" Bella continued to sob and I dispelled my earlier doubt of her acting. The invasive hands left my legs and were now replaced by the oh so nice ones I was so used to. Rosalie was slowly tracing lines all over my body while screaming out cries of despair. If you were anyone but Baked right now, this scene would be fairly comical.

"Ok-ok, I'm going to go call the station and get an ambulance on the way! You all stay here!"

Foot steps darted a few yards away and Jasper's low and urgent whispers drifted towards my ears.

"We need to book it now. I say we just run on foot from here. Edward, you can just throw Bella on your back."

"Hey," Bella's voice was now tear free. "I'd like to be placed on his back not thrown... after seeing a projectile Emmett, I never want to thinking about being tossed through the air again." I snickered.

"Oh you should try it Bella it's kinda fun! But you might want to do it when you're indestructable." I felt a swat on my back.

"Shut up you're dead remember." Right.

"Sorry Bella, but that looks like what we're going to have to do." Alice announced and then all of a sudden I was on my feet. Alice and Rosalie had both picked me up by either arm and I reached out to hug my Rosie.

"We've got to run now before Baker comes back and finds that you've risen from the dead." Her voice was muffled from me pressing her into a bear hug.

"I missed you do much while I was dead!" I beamed into her neck and then looked towards everyone else.

"Alright guys lets get this mission into phase two... or maybe it's three..." I release Rosalie from my grip and grabbed her hand while running off the road and towards the woods. I noticed Edward gently put Bella on his back and Alice and Jasper grasp hands as well. "I don't really remember what phase we're in due to brain damage from dying a few minutes ago."

"Trust me Emmett," Jasper's voice fluttered through the air while we ran. "You were brain damaged before that."

**Hope you all enjoyed! I'm sorry again for the delay. I've been so busy and fighting off some type of sick thing. It's in between a cold and something a little more. PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! I LOVE YOU ALL AND APPRECIATE EVERY REVIEW I GET! YOU'RE ALL AMAZING!**


	11. Chapter 11

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! All of your reviews continue to make my day!! YAY for having the best reviewers!**

**I'm SO sorry it took so long to update! This is my longest chapter yet so hopefully that makes up for it a little! **

**KEEP REVIEWING AND FAVORITEING AND ALERTING!! YOU ALL ARE AMAZING AND I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE TO ENJOY THIS STORY!**

**Disclaimer: I will never own twilight.**

**Carlisle POV**

I don't think I've ever not recieved some kind of troubled call when my children leave the house. Sure, Esme and I have tought them well, and sure, they don't kill people, but they are still a handful. And if they do kill someone, they always feel really bad about it.

I was sitting in my study and looking at the mountain of paper work I still needed to do when I realised that there was noway I was going to finish any of it tonight. Instead, I began to melodically drums my fingers on my desk while waiting for another call from the police. Esme's soft feet could be heard upstairs and making their way down towards my door.

"Darling?" She poked her head inside and brightened my mood with her warm smile.

"Yes?" She slithered her petite frame through the door and walked over to my chair to give me a hug.

"Just saying hello." She squeezed a little tighter as emphasis. "Have you talked to the kids?" I sighed and slumped my shoulders. Her grip loosened and eventually dissipated altogether as she swiveled my chair to look straight at her. "What did they do?"

"I got a call from the police."

"THE POLICE?!" I reached out and grabbed her hand in a soothing manner.

"Yes, but Esme dear, don't worry. You know them, they are always getting themselves in and out of creative situations.." I trailed off while thinking of the last time the police called the house. I'm still unsure of exactly how Jasper got into the morgue that time...

"Well what did the police say? What did they do this time?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm not sure." I stole a glance at the time and saw that it was just now midnight. "Something about Alice being handcuffed."

Esme's eyes widened minutely but she didn't react. With a sigh she instead pulled her hand away from me and placed a kiss on my forehead. She turned to walk towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"To go get bail money ready.. just in case."

**Alice POV**

_"To go get bail money ready...just in case."_

My vision was quick but I couldn't help and grin. Esme truly was a great mother. I can't think of any other parent that would be so calm and composed about her kids being in jail. We're not actually in jail anymore though.. we're just on the run.

"Guys!" I chirped. "You wouldn't believe how sweet Esme is being. I just had a vision that she's getting bail money ready in case we'll need it." Bella looked upset.

"Oh no, I don't want her spending any type of ridiculous money on me. I'll just call my dad to come get me out of jail if I need it." I rolled my eyes. Bella needs to learn how to start spending money like a Cullen. After all, she's going to be one very soon.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I chided. "You really need to get over this money phobia you have. Also, we're not even in jail anymore so I don't think that bail money will be necessary."

We'd been running through the woods for a few minutes and had gotten a safe distance away from where Emmett 'died'. Emmett himself had of course gotten the wiff of a near by grizzly and had taken off to go "teach it a lesson". Jasper then decided that it might be a wise idea if he took a break to do a little hunting as well while the rest of us relaxed for a few minutes by a cluster of tree's. Bella seemed to be happy that we weren't running anymore and Edward of course insisted on staying with her. Rose was a little peeved due to the fact that she was currently leaning against the trunk of a tree and getting her shirt dirty. I was just, full of energy.

_"What? I swear he was here! He was dead!"_

_Baker looked frantically at the medics that were now with him._

_"Looks like those kids pulled a fast one on you, better go find them."_

Oh no.

Edward looked up towards me having clearly heard what I just saw. Great, now we have to somehow figure out a way to explain why Emmett's body isn't there anymore. The ground started to rumble and Emmett and Jasper both came running through the trees.

"BOO YAH!" Jasper yelled while doing a small dance of victory. Oh how I loved my Jazzy. "I beat you Emmett! You can't even try to rematch me because I've beat all of your obstacles on the way back as well." My husband was beaming from ear to ear while Emmett just frowned and walked over towards Rosalie.

"You lost?" Rose cocked an eyebrow towards Emmett.

"NO! Of course I didn't lose! Jasper wasn't being fair at all and kept shooting waves of fear my way the whole time we were running. I kept slowing down to avoid hitting the trees that I was afraid were going to kill me." Jasper snickered.

"You never said a no killer tree phobia rule."

"I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE OBVIOUSLY NOT ALLOWED!" Emmett threw his arms up in the air in defeat and went to sit on a log.

"Are you guys done?" Bella asked while trying to conceal a smile. It was probably amusing to her to see how the kids at school were so deathly afraid of Jasper and Emmett. Well, they were afraid of our whole family to an extent but especially them. She saw a side the them that was so ridiculous, no wonder she was never afraid of us.

Edward chuckled at my thoughts and I smiled some more.

"Ok Well we have a problem." I walked over to Jasper and laced my fingers into his. He looked at me and smiled and sent me all of his love.

"Whats our problem Alice?" Emmett still wore a slight frown on his face but it seemed to be starting to fade.

"Baker is going to go back to where we were with medics for Emmett, and Emmett is not going to be there. They're going to get suspicious and figure out that we lied about Emmett's death. If this happened then they're going to start looking for us with three times as many people and five times the effort."

Rosalie smacked the tree behind her and stood up.

"Why does this always happen to us!" Her voice was shrill as she started spinning from person to person. "This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen! Somehow we managed to get dragged to Nashiville by Emmett on some ridiculous adventure that he still refuses to tell us about. Then we get arrested under appalling circumstances, we have to run from a _human_ and now Emmett is supposedly dead and we have to figure out how to get ourselves out of a lie that we made up in the first place!" I wondered if it was possible at this moment for vampire to spontaneously combust.

"Yea Emmett," Bella turned towards him with a quizzical look in her eyes. "Why did you want to come to Nashville so badly?" Before he could answer Edward smacked his own forehead in disbelief and started muttering under his breath.

"Because it's where Elvis was born!" Emmett grinned and leaned his head back.

"ELVIS WAS BORN IN MISSISSIPPI!" Rosalie screamed. I decided that it was quite possible for her to burst into flames. Jasper winced at my side having to feel all the rage rolling off of Rosalie. I could practically feel it as well.

"Can we just figure out how we're going to fix this problem with Baker and the medics?" Edward was still shaking his head but seemed to be trying to get a grip on the situation before Emmett lost his balls.

"Yea," I tugged on Jaspers hand. "Got any ideas?" He shook his head no.

"Can't we just make it look like something happened to his body?" Bella's words spurred a vision and I had to bite my lip not to laugh because it was just too ironic. Edward didn't have nearly as good of a filter as me because he did infact burst into laughter.

"Oh Alice really? That's priceless!" Bella wormed herself into Edwards arms and smiled at his laughter. She always enjoyed seeing him happy.

"What? What are we going to do?" Emmett was about to burst at the seems.

"Our little Bella just inadvertantly came up with a way that we are going to trick Baker." Bella's smile grew even more. "Emmett, it seems that we are going to make it seem like you were eaten by a bear." This time is was Jasper, Bella, and Rosalie's turn to laugh. Emmett didn't laugh but instead took off running into the woods towards the direction from where he and Jasper had emerged.

"Where are you going?" Edward yelled.

"To get the key factor in pulling this off!" Emmett hollered back over his shoulder right before he disappeared.

"Rocks paper scissors?" Bella quipped while holding out her hand to Edward in a manner that said she was totally serious.

"Oh love you truly are the strangest and most amazing human ever." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips and I could hear her heart rate speed up.

"Careful brother, you don't want to give me future sister a heart attack now do you?" I giggled while Bella's face started to blush.

Again the ground was rumbling with Emmett's massive feet slapping the earth and when he came back through the trees my mouth dropped open a little. Slung over Emmett's shoulder was an exceptionally large grizzly bear.

"Oh. my. god.." Bella looked as though she was about to faint as the smell of blood started to drift through the air.

"EMMETT!" Edward swept Bella up into his arms in a craddled position right as her head lolled back and her eyes fluttered closed. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!" Edwards eyes were wild as he dashed to the other side of the clearing we were in to get as far away from the scent of grizzly blood as he could so that Bella would wake up. Jasper looked at Emmett and rolled his eyes.

"You're a moron dude. Now Edward's going to kill you." Emmett shrugged.

"Fruitless fight man, I'm already dead!" Rosalie walked over to my side.

"How the hell is the bear's body going to help us?" Rose's voice softened slightly while she was talking to me as if to show that she wasn't really that angry at us, well at all of us excluding Emmett.

I searched what the future held and realised that Emmett had actually been thinking way ahead of all of us.

"The bear is actually going to help us a lot." Edward sighed in annoyance from twenty feet away as he realised too that the bear was essential to making the plan happen. "See, what we need to do is put the bear back where Emmett's body supposedly was and make it seem like the bear ate him up."

"They why would the bear be dead?" Jasper's voice tickled my neck when he spoke.

"Probably because Emmett is toxic." Rose's voice was tight and terse. Emmett grinned.

"Oh babe you know I am." He winked. "Hey Eddie how's Bella?" He shifted the weight of the bear to his other shoulder while he talked.

"Don't call me Eddie, and she's still passed out."

"Kiss her Edward! It'll wake her up." I smiled knowing I was right. Edward complied without having to even be told twice. He was probably hungry to kiss her, or worried about when she'd wake up, or aware that he should never bet against me, or all of the above.

Again I heard the flutter of Bella's heart. Edward sighed in relief.

"Edward?" Her voice was tiny.

"Yes love it's me, are you ok?" Bella nodded in response but didn't dare to look away from his face.

"Does Emmett have a bear?" Edward grimaced and glanced back over his shoulder to where Emmett was still standing.

"Yes love, he does." Bella nodded again.

"I thought so."

"Ok can we get this show on the road?" Emmett boomed and Edward let out a low growl. "We're going to need some body parts so that we can stick a foot or something out of the bear's mouth. You know, to make it seem more realistic... What do you say Jasper? You up for going out and killing some humans?" Emmett snickered at his own joke and I crossed my arms in a show of dissaproval.

"I resent that." Jasper answered. I turned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Rosalie then started to speak up.

"I'm in no way trying to defend my husbands idiotic idea, but how are we going to make it seem like the bear ate Emmett?"

I smiled and this time could not hold in my laughter.

"We're not going to need to." I paused and turned towards my brother. "Emmett is actually going to be in the process of being eaten when they find him." Emmett gave me a quizzical look. I knew that Edward had definitely seen the vision I just so my next words wouldn't confused him. "And Edward is going to be the one to make it happen.

Bella then decided to pop her head up and look back towards the rest of us after having heard my statement. The bear was still hanging over Emmett and no sooner did I hear Edward yell an exasperated 'damn' as Bella fainted again.

**Thank you all SO much for reading!! I decided to throw in a little Carlisle POV in this chapter because I thought we might like to see what's going on at home with him and Esme. They will play a bigger part in the story later!**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I promise to not delay a post that long again! KEEP REVIEWING YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!**


	12. Chapter 12

**OMG MY REVIEWERS ARE CONTINUOUSLY AMAZING ME!!!! 18 REVIEWS ON THE LAST CHAPTER MAKES ME DO GIDDY DANCES OF JOY.**

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**KEEP IT UP! **

**Disclaimer: Yea we know I don't own Twilight**

Edward POV

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!" My voice was steadily rising and unfortunately so was Emmett's. Alice had voiced the ridiculous vision she has and Emmett was so excited, but I wasn't.

"Don't make me threaten to throw Bella off of a cliff Eddie." He smirked because both he and I knew that he would never dare to harm Bella, she had always been like a sister to him.

"Haha Emmett, very funny." Bella chided while rolling her eyes and then letting out an exasperated breath. "You can throw me off a cliff just please don't make me look at that bear again.." Emmett roared with laughter while I took in my loves scent.

"Oh Bella you should have seen your face when you saw the bear! Right before you fainted... I mean it was priceless man.. totally priceless!" Now I had to roll my eyes. Leave it to Emmett to find it amusing when people are so perturbed to an extent that they faint. "But really Bella maybe you should just close your eyes or something because we're going to need to bring out the bear again in order to make this plan wor-"

"EMMETT! I said NO!" I was furious, beyond furious, I was blinded with rage, and I knew exactly where this was coming from. "JASPER GOD DAMNIT!" My brother smirked at me and then held up his hands in a surrenderous manner.

"Sorry Edward, take it easy." The smirk was still plastered upon his face but now I felt an overwhelming amount of calm spreading through out my body. Damn brother of mine.

"Can I just ask.." Bella started and then took a deep breath in an attempt to gather the right words she was trying to say. "..what exactly is it that Emmett and Alice want you to do?" She looked straight into my eyes and her big brown orbs filled me with euphoria that I forgot about the task at hand. I traced the outline of her jaw lightly with my fingers and then sighed as she leaned her face further into my palm.

"Love, it's ridiculous... Alice wants me to hide next to the bear and move the jaw so that it looks as though it's alive and eating Emmett."

She was quiet for a moment which only enabled me to hear hear the others' thoughts ten-fold.

_"Oh no she better not faint again."_ Rosalie.

_"FAINT FAINT FAINT!"_ Emmett, of course Emmett.

I was, however, worried. The last thing I wanted was to make my love faint...again.... on account of my own words. So I watched her intently and wished for the upteenth time that I could read her thoughts. Every worse scenario that could be going through my mind was and then the strangest thing happened... She burst into laughter. Not her usual, carefree, nervous laughter, but a giddy uncontrollable laughter. It was like nothing I'd ever heard come out of her mouth before.

"E-Edward...that....hilarious...please..." Her words were choked out in desperate gasps between giggles. "Please...tell me you're going to...do it!" I stared in shock while my fiance was trying to convince me to play ventriloquist with a dead bear.

_"YES! I always knew Bella was amazing! She is going to rule in Cullen truth or dare once she's turned!"_ Again Emmett's loud and boystrous excitement echoed throughout my mind.

"See Edward! I knew that you were going to end up doing it!" Alice was standing with her hands on her tiny hips in a stance that radiated authority and smugness. She always knows when to trust her visions and I guess it was almost my own fault to challenge my role in them.

"Bella.." I drawled while staring up into the dark night sky in defeat. "Wait! We can't do this because Bella is going to faint again if she see's ther bear!" The sudden revelation made me feel triumphant, but Alice just continued to stare me down.. of course she saw this excuse coming. In a quick and nearly invisible movement my sister whipped out a pair of dark tinted sunglasses.

Everyone gave her a puzzled look while she pranced over to where Bella resided in my arms and gently placed them over her eyes. Her voice was filled with joy at her solution.

"Lucky for you Bella," She started while adjusting the frames to fit comfortably on her nose, "you don't have nearly as good vision as us! It's already dark outside and with these puppies on you wont be able to see anything, especially the bear."

"Great Alice, blind her even more.." Rosalie sneered.

"Yea, she can barely see what's infront of her during the daylight." Jasper chimed in. My dear Bella stuck her tongue out mockingly and Rosalie threw her head back in laughter.

I had no more arguments left to try and use to my advantage. The only think I had yet to use as a last ditch effort really... was the expense to my pride. Though I have done unthinkable things in my past, both violent, selfless, selfish, and embarassing, I had never gone THIS far. To think that I would have to _sqwat_ next to Emmetts leftovers and make it 'eat' my undead and immortal brother was just so degrading..

"Oh and Edward-" Alice interrupted my thoughts with another knowing smile. "You're going to need to growl some when you move the bears mouth, you know, for believability."

This was truly rock bottom in concerns to dignity, and then some.

Bella had now a pair of designer shades hiding her eyes from mine and nustled deep into the mane that was her layered brown hair. All I could see was her startling smile that poked out from the shadows of her face.

"Ready?" Her voice was always so beautiful to my ears. I sighed.

"As I'll ever be."

No sooner after the words were spoken from my lips did I feel my hand being yanked away by Alice and being hurtled back through the forest towards the scene of the crime. I turned my head slightly to see that Emmett was running only a few feet behind with Bella latched onto his back, her shades still in place. Jasper and Rosalie were nearly parallel to them.

It took a few minutes to get back to where we killed Emmett. Alice released my hand right after whispering a string of threats into my ear at such speed I even had to listen hard to understand. Basically, I was to comply and play the good little vampire and not let my distain for public humiliation taint the goal of the staged bear massacre... speaking of...

"Where's the bear?" Jasper voiced the words only second before I was able to.

A silence descended as we all looked from person to person. Bella still clung onto Emmett's back and I was next to her in a moment to make an attempt to prry her delicate hands from the death grip she had on his neck.

"EMMETT!" Rosalie was a whirl wind of blonde sensuality as she darted infront of me to get nose to nose with her husband. "Did you _lose_ the bear?" Though her voice was no longer elevated in volume.. it was ice cold. I'd much prefer loud Rosalie to sociopathic Rosalie.

"No!" My brother's mouth gaped open as he looked at his empty hands and fruitlessly patted his now empty back in an attempt to prove that he had had the bear all along. "Rosie I swear! I didn't lose him." More pats. "I must have just left his behind in the forest when I went to run with Bella!"

We were standing in the middle of the street when the familiar flashing blue and red lights started to light up at the curve in the road. Shoot, Baker and the medics were nearly here and we didn't have a bear and Emmett was walking and talking and we were back at the scene of the crime. We needed to do something and to do it now.

So then I did something that I didn't really think through at all. I jumped Emmett and wrestled him to the ground.

At first Emmett fought back thinking that we were sparring like how we usually do, but I quickly whispered to him that he is supposed to be dead and his body stiffened like a board. It was funny to see Emmett play dead because he over did it so much. You'd think that someone who comes face to face with death so much and IS infact dead himself would learn how to mimic it. Emmett didn't.

I snarled and thrashed and barred my teeth at Emmett while the rest of my family stood in horror and shock. Not Alice though, she understood, I was acting as the bear substitute. It was dark and I sounded scary enough. Baker and the Medics probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between me and a grizzly.

The cars eventually neared closer and closer to us and then came to a screeching halt. They jumped out of the car and were straining their eyes to see the source of the snarling. Their thoughts nearly made me laugh outloud...

_"Whats that noise... a bear? A mountain lion? A dinosaur?"_

_"An animal! Oh god no an animal got that boys body! Oh how am I going to explain this?"_

Bella's voice could be heard daintily over the ruckus. Her sunglasses were obstructing one of her senses and it was making her bitter.

"Alice! What is going on? I can't see! Jasper, Rosalie, are Edward and Emmett okay?! Hello! I can't see..stupid gucci ridiculously expensive sunglasses..."

I was about to attempt to slink away from the scene that I caused when something small and hard bounce off my skull. My snarls stopped and I rubbed my head in confusion. Emmett having heard the shift in noise from me peeked open one of his eyes in confusion.

I reached around and found the offensive object that had made contact with my head and found a small but lethal looking stone.

Stones? This cop and these medics were throwing rocks?

Oh they're getting it now.

**THANKS! Again I just REALLY hope that you guys like this chapter! In all fairness I've been ENTIRELY sleep deprived and I wrote this while half falling asleep. I know it's a little on the shorter side but I have ungodly amounts of work to do this weekend that I knew I wouldn't get a chance to update. PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING! THANKS ALWAYS! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!**


	13. Chapter 13

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! THE REVIEWS ARE STILL GOING STRONG!**

**They make me smile like no other! I swear, my friends are going to stop talking to me soon because I'm always saying what amazing reviewers I have!**

**Again I apologize about the delayed update!! I had ACT's this week and a TON of rehersals for the now 2 plays I'm in. Yes I majorly over book myself sometimes..**

**My reviewers make me giddy, I hope you all enjoy this next chapter! Keep it up! and again i'm eternally (lol pun) grateful for all of you loyal readers!**

**Disclaimer: ****I will never own Twilight****!**

**ENJOY!**

Edward POV

"Dude what are you doing?" Emmett hissed at me. I was still frozen and nearly trembling with anger. The most disturbing part was that this anger was in no way influenced by Jasper, it was influenced by the idiotic humans throwing _rocks_. In fact, Jasper looked startled by my sudden change in emotion. "Edward?" Emmett asked again only a little more warily.

"These.. these.. these people are... unfathomable." I could hear Bella giggling somewhere behind me.

"Bro, calm down, you're bordering on Jasper-esque here.." Emmett continued to question my sanity when another rock made contact with my head. I worried that my eyes actually burned red with rage. The events of the night began to replay inside my mind like I was watching some deranged reality show.

Cue crazy family, check. Add in some skimpy outfits, unecessary violence, and jail, check. Now.. _now_ lets throw in humility, more violence, and kindergarden playground antics. Check. Well, if Baker and who ever else he is with feel the need to lower themself to such childish attack strategies, then I will beat them at their own game.

"Emmett?" I looked towards my brother who was still pretending to be dead.

"Yea?" He spoke so quietly that no human could hear.

"How would you like to channel your inner ghost?" Excitement flashed across his features and I knew I had my answer. Emmett would never dare pass up a chance to pull a hoax on the unsuspecting. Once I had fully thought through my actions I heard Alice's sing-song laugh mix into Bella's.

"Edward, I always thought that you had more self respect then to lower themselves to that level." Alice choked out. "I mean jeez, you're always the one getting on Emmett's case for being to immature but this might just beat everything he's ever done!" I quickly shot her a questioning glance.

"Everything?" There were a few minutes of silence while I let her soak in her previous statement. Her laughter started to quiet while she thought and I could see all of her memories of Emmet's stupidity flow through her mind.

"Well...maybe not everything..." I thought so.

"What's he going to do?" Jasper questioned. His voice sounded just as close as both Alice and Bella.

"If it's similar to anything Emmett does I don't even want to know.." Rosalie's voice sounded from a distance much closer... maybe from above me? I looked up and noticed a glint of silver from one of the tree's above Emmett and I. There, sitting on limb and casually leaning her head on the trunk of the tree was my sister. In her hands was a camera that was pointed directly towards us. She was smiling like a fool.

"Rosie are you filming us?" Emmett started to sit up and get a better look when I quickly swatted him back down. He was going to blow our cover far too soon if his 'corpse' started to sit up and stare wildly at a rogue woman in a tree.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am filming you Emmett."

"Why?" Again he began to make an attempt at sitting up but then last second smacked himself back down.

"Because-" Rosalie lowered the camera from her eye and then brushed her hair casually over her shoulder. "It's not everyday that Edward pretends to be a bear and attacks you. It's also not everyday that Edward gets pelted with rocks by humans, although granted, catching that part on film was unexpected good luck." The snicker from Bella and Alice that had since stopped started up again after Rosalie's little declaration.

"Edward?" The angelic voice wormed it's way through my ears like some unsung lullaby. "I can't really see you because it's really dark. I took off the glasses once I figured out that there was no dead bear, however it really hasn't helped much..." I felt my face twist into a goofy grin at Bella's rambling. "And well anyways, since you enjoy having conversation with everyone in your own head I never know whats actually going on... and I think I heard something about rocks... so" She took a huge breath and then proceeded to finish. "Would you mind telling me what you're planning on doing that is more stupid than Emmett?"

Swiftly I made my way over to my love and took her into my arms while spinning her around in a circle. She at first gasped at my sudden presense and then began to giggle. I placed her on her feet and then placed kisses all over her face while I gave her the best smile I could muster. Her heart beat sped up.

"My love, I am planning on scaring Baker silly."

"Did he see you get up and come over to me?" Concern suddenly tainted her voice and I didn't ever like hearing her worry.

"Of course not, I'm very sneaky." One wink from me and her cheeks began to be tinted pink.

"How are you going to scare him?" I gave her one more kiss and another squeeze of a hug before I started to turn away back towards Emmett.

"You will just have to wait and see." A tiny harumph escaped her lips which only made me smile more. To my surprise, Emmett was still lying still when I returned. Rosalie was now lying down on her stomach in a very dramatic position on the branch while pointing the camera at Emmett.

"Now say, 'I love Rosalie with all of my heart'" Emmett was using all of his self control to lay still on the ground while Rosalie taunted him with herself.

"I love Rosalie with all of my heart...and I would love to climb up into that tree with her and do unspeakable things with her..." I rolled my eyes as visions of Rosalie and himself in Tarzaan and Jane outfits started to run through his head. Once Emmett started imagining them in compromizing positions I vehemently tried to clock them out.

"Emmett stop fantasizing. Please." I begged him and then looked up towards Rosalie. "And you stop tempting him. Please." She shrugged and then climbed onto another unseen branch for a better view of the show we were about to put on.

"SHOO! SKAT!!" Baker's voice began elevating in frantic short outbursts. He was trying his best at scaring off the pretend bear. If I had been a real bear, his attempts at scary and menacing would have been fruitless. He sounded no more terrifying then a bee.

"Emmett what you're job is going to be is to simply walk up behind Baker and the medics and scare them. Don't touch them because if you do and they realise that you're still flesh and bones they might not think you were ever really dead."

"Or maybe they'll think i'm a zombie!" Emmett interupted me while widening his eyes in amazement. "Let's do zombies instead! They're _way_ cooler then ghosts anyhow.."

"No. Ghosts. It's easier and quicker. But seriously remain a safe distance away, make some scary cheesy ghost noises, I don't really care, just scare them." I looked over towards the parked cruiser. They hadn't moved a muscle since earlier.

"Well while I'm being a ghost who is going to be my dead body?" Emmett quirked up an eyebrow.

"Ugh!" Alice grunted and I heard her stomp her tiny foot into the ground. "Jasper go over there and help those two morons. They need another body."

There are times like these where I am genuinely glad that Alice can see our futures. She's always handy in a predicament.

Jasper was with us within a second and clapped a hand on my shoulder.

"What do you need my body for?" Rosalie burst out laughing from somewhere in her tree.

"Oh god this video is going to be priceless! I can't wait to edit and take things out of context." Her laughter seeped down through the leaves and left Jasper grumbling at her play on his words.

"Just pretend to be dead, you're taking Emmett's spot while he goes over and pretends to be a ghost."

_*plunk*_ Out of my periphery I saw a rock richochet off of the tree trunk next to me. God damnit, we need to scare them and soon.

"Not to be the debbie downer or what not, but is this going to be worth all the effort?" Jasper sighed while he lay down in place of Emmett. "I mean are we even going to sucessfully scare Baker?" Emmett had already slinked away towards the trees lining the path that was parallel to the police car.

"Don't worry Jazzy! I have seen and it will be hysterical!" I tried to get inside of Alice's head to see what she had seen but was only met with the alphabet backwards and in norwegian. Jasper shrugged once he heard his wife and stopped questioning my plan.

"Alice's word is good enough for me." He mumbled while turning his head towards where Emmett was sneaking up behind Baker. I saw the large and ominous outline of my brother stand infront of the car headlights. This effectively enlarged his shadow and blocked out what little light Baker and company had left to see.

At this lack of light Baker slowly turned around to face his doom. Even from the distance I was I could hear Baker nearly have a heart attack.

"Wh-what.." The detective's voice was trembling while he looked up towards Emmett's face.

"Detective Baked.. this is E-e-mmet-t C-cull-e-n!" Emmett was trying to stagger his syllables in an attempt and spooky ghost voice. It sounded dumb but under the stress and surprise that Baker felt, he remained terrified. "You h-have k-kill-ed me! And n-nooow a be-ar h-as eat-ten me!"

Jasper turned his head back toward me and rolled his eyes.

"W-what are you?" Baker's heart remained eratic while Emmett boomed.

"I'M A GHOST! I'VE COME TO HAUNT YOU!"

And then an ear piercing scream ripped right through my ear drums. Followed by two simultaneous thuds. A few seconds passed and then a third thud sounded. Jasper popped up of the ground while Rosalie jumped from the tree. Alice dragged over Bella and I even cautiously took a step forward.

There, not 50 feet away from us was Emmett surrounded by Baker and both the medics on the ground.

"Emmett! What the hell did you do!" Alice shrieked while plotting out scenarios in her head of how we would despose of the bodies.

"Nothing!" He thrust his hands into the air. "I'm innocent I swear! They fainted that all! Really I swear!"

Rosalie started snickering and even I couldn't help but laugh at the scene infront of us. The best thing was that we got it all on tape. Alice glided over to Jasper and helped him up off the ground while Bella slipped her warm hand into mine. She darted her eyes back and forth between Emmett, the three unconscious men and me. I was worried that she might be upset with me for bringing up this idea in the first place, maybe she thought we were being unusually cruel to Baker.

"So.." She started while still adverting her eyes. "Does this mean that we can take their car?"

My whole family turned to look at her in surprise. Without even waiting to see what our answer would be Emmett jumped into the drivers seat of the cruiser and boomed through the open window.

"Bella, I love the way you think!"

**I hope this chapter was up to par :) I love writing the Cullens into ridiculous situations!!! Keep on reviewing! I love hearing all the comments you guys leave! They make my day!!!**

**YOU ALL ARE AMAZING! Also, I'm thinking Maybe Rosalie or Alice POV next? Let me know if you have any preferences!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here is the new chapter!!!! Again I'm sorry for the delay in posting! I've had nonstop rehersals and two shows so I've been pretty busy.**

**HOWEVER.. School is over and I'm going to be putting up a poll either tonight or tomorrow about the next story I will write so keep a look out! **

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE AMAZING REVIEWS ON THE LAST CHAPTER! My reviewers make me want to dance in the rainy weather we've had. Keep it up! You all are AMAZING!**

**Here you go!!!! The Cullens make their way home!**

**Disclaimer: Mhm still don't own Twilight**

Rosalie POV

The car was small... too small. Emmett nearly took up all of the backseat with his enormous body and then Alice and I both had to squish in with him. Edward had beat Emmett in rocks paper scissors as to who would drive and of course insisted that Bella sit shot-gun with him. Jasper lost all rounds of the stupid game and ended up in the trunk.

We had been speeding down the highway for a half hour and every time we hit a bump in the road everyone would yell in aggrevation. Jasper had taken to punching the back seat through the trunk and was every five minutes delivering a blow to Emmett's lower back.

"JASPER!" Emmett fllung himself forward to avoid another punch and in the process flung me onto the floor.

"EMMETT!!" My 'skirt' rode all the way up to my stomach and I squirmed every which way to unhook my ankle which somehow was now stuck under Bella's seat.

"Oh geez Rose put it away!" Alice mockingly flung her tiny hands over her eyes and then laughed before reaching down and pulling me back up onto the seat.

"Thanks." I grumbled before elbowing Emmett in the chest.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For not helping your wife up off of the floor of a dirty police car!" I rolled my eyes.

"Yea well now I have you elbowing me, and I'm also getting punched from the trunk of the car.. it's a little distracting. What is this hate on Emmett day?" He started looking wildly around to the rest of the family. "First you guys make me die and now everyone is hitting me. Really I can only take so much abuse."

Bella laughed in the front seat. I wish she wouldn't do that, it only encourages his antics.

"Where are we going anyway?" It had been a long and annoying day and I was not past jumping up and clicking my heels together while chanting 'there's no place like home' over and over again.

"No need Rosalie." Edward interupted my desperate fantasies. "We are going home."

"Really?!" Bella nearly jumped out of her seat and through the roof. "You're not lying Edward are you? Because remember we are engaged and after everything that happened today, if you're lying to me about soon being home I might just kill you." He chuckled and lifted one hand off the wheel to take a hold of hers.

"I wouldn't do that to you. We really are going home love. And as soon as we get home I'm sure Esme will insist upon making you something to eat." Suddenly Bella's stomach roared like some sort of wild animal.

"Oh my god Bella! You're human!" Emmett blurted out. Bella leaned to the side and craned her neck towards the backseat. Her cheeks were slightly red from the embarassment of her growling stomach.

"Yes Emmett, I thought we already established that I'm human." Alice started vibrating with laughter.

"No no! I mean you need to eat! I totally forgot that you have to eat food! We haven't eaten all day!"

Hearing my husbands voice raise an octave in concern over our human sister's appetite was overshadowing my previous annoyance with him. I love my husband more than words could describe and moments like this only emphasize that fact.

"Don't worry Emmett, we're going to be home in 20 mintues anyway. Bella can eat then." Alice chirped while attempting to cut a hole into the trunk. Bella's stomach growled again but her face did not turn red. She was so pleased by the fact that we would be home with all the food she could want that she wasn't even thinking about her hunger.

I don't think I've ever missed Forks more then I do right now. T.V... down comforters... silk sheets... couches...

There's no place like home, there's no place like home.

Alice POV

"3 MORE MINUTES!" In the past 17 mintues I'd cut away a small opening opening that allowed me to freely pass in and out of the trunk. Jasper was thrilled that he was now able to have company. I was thrilled just to be able to be close to him.

"And eggs... I think scrambled eggs would be really good. Oh Edward do you think Esme knows how to make sticky buns? If not it's okay but I would eat them if she could..." Since Emmett alerted Bella to the fact that she has not yet eaten today, her hunger has grown ten-fold. For the past ten minutes she's been pondering outloud all the food she would eat when we got home. Edward was nearly biting through his own lip in an attempt to not laugh in his fiance's face.

"Don't worry Bella. You'll be able to eat sticky buns at some point tonight." Her head whipped around with impressive speed.

"Really Alice?! Oh that's exciting..." She was quiet for a minute and stared out the window. The winding road to our house slowly came into focus.

"HALLELUJAH!" Emmett's voice rattled the windows. Rosalie was even eager to get out of the car. Edward sped up and was pushing 90 mph while nearing our salvation.

"What's going on?" Jasper inquired. I shimmied back to where he was and told him that we were home and that he and I were going to celebrate escaping the police up in our room, alone, for the next 5 hours.. The car lurched to a stop and the sound of ripping metal resonated throughout the car.

Emmett in all his excitement had torn the door right off of the cruiser and was already in the house. Much to my surprise, Bella was not far behind him. I could hear her soft voice greeting Esme and Carlisle and then asking Esme what food there was for her to eat.

Rosalie's voice carried through the front door as well. Her's, however, consisted of needing to get out of her clothes.

"She calls those clothes?" Edward mumbled while heading towards the house himself.

After popping the trunk top open I held out my hand for Jasper to take. In his Southern gentlemanly manner he bowed his head and kissed my skin.

"Well thank you darling." He put a drawl on the word 'darling' and I giggled while her wrapped me up into his arms and carried me in with the rest of the family.

_"Is this a road or a driveway? My god maybe I should have never followed them all the way back here.."_

"God damnit! Does that man have NOTHING better to do then torment this family!" I screeched and seethed with anger at the revelation my last vision granted me.

"Alice what is it?" Carlisle walked over and Jasper put me down so that our father could great us.

"The stupid cop that has been giving us so much grief today is going to end up at our house!"

"What?!" Jasper suddenly got very panicky and turned wide eyed towards Carlisle. "Listen, Carlisle, if he actually does come here there are some things I need to tell you first. I never drank any soda, I'm not on drugs nor am I bi-polar."

Carlisle quirked an eyebrow in his direction and then slowly shook his head from side to side.

"How do you kids manage to get yourselves into these situations.." Carlisle sighed. "Alice when is this man going to arrive?" I tried to search the future for some inclination but it was a bit fuzzy. I think Baker was lost somewhere, he hadn't been able to keep up with Edward's insane driving.

"I can't be sure, he might be here in either 30 mintues or 45 minutes." Pots clanged from the kitchen and Edward could be heard swearing at various cooking utensils.

"Are we having guests?" Esme's sing-song voice called from the depths of the kitchen as well.

"No mom just the cop that is trying to put us all in the big house." Emmett answered from the couch that he was now animatedly playing a video game on. Jasper quickly joined him and Rose resurfaced from upstairs in much better clothing. Her whore suit has been replaced with a red cashmiere sweater and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans. I gave her an approving nod.

Rosalie had always known how to dress herself, Bella was the only one I ever had to worry about what she would walk into the room wearing.

"I know what we should do!" Emmett paused the game he and Jasper were playing so that he could focus on his new idea. "We should turn the Cullen house into an impenatrable fortress! That way Baker can't get in an bug us."

Edward and Bella and Esme all walked out of the kitchen. Bella was eating a grilled cheese sandwhich and Edward was explaining to Esme all about what we had gone through today.

"You know Alice," Edward started while diverting his attention from Esme. "I can't believe I'm saying this but maybe we should just make it impossible for Baker to get in here." I actually felt my jaw drop while Emmett started clapping at his success.

"You can''t possibly be suggesting that we listen to Emmett and turn this house into a fortress?" I stated while completley baffled.

"No! Of course not! I'm not suggesting we listen to any of Emmett's ridiculous ideas about fortress's.. but we can maybe tweak it. Maybe we can just advert him from ever getting to the house."

I mulled it over in my head. Hmm.. detours? It could work.

"Okay." I huffed. "We'll try to make detours, make it so Baker never finds the house."

Jasper had unpaused the game and the horrific sounds of zombies being slaughtered blared through the speakers.

"Alice, what kind of detours?" Jasper asked while biting his tongue in concentration and jumping up onto the couch in an attempt to somehow actually jump out of the way in the game.

"You know the usual! Cannons, net traps..." Emmett trailed off while also wildly moving the controller in his hands.

"Cannons?" Bella asked while now stuffing her face with pudding.

"Mhm.." Emmett flailed the controller onto the floor and crossed his arms in defeat. "Bella, you are about to see how to successful detour a human, _Cullen style_!"

I swear I heard her gulp.

**I hope you all enjoyed it!!! This story is nearing an end! Probably only two or three more chapters! Thank you all for the continued support! KEEP REVIEWING!!!!! You all are the BEST!**

**Also, I compromised and did both Rosalie and Alice POV... so yea.. I couldn't help myself.**


	15. Chapter 15

**AGAIN I AM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THE REVIEW!!! I HAVE THE BEST REVIEWERS! **

**And again i'm SO sorry about the delay!**

**To make up I think this is my longest chapter but I'm not sure... I could be wrong.**

**ENJOY!!! and remember to keep reviewing! :)**

**Bella POV**

"I want everyone to calm down and speak at once. I beg all of you to act in a mature manner so that we can sort this out." Carlisle was now standing on one of the lower stairs leading up to the second floor. Everyone had started discussing decoy procedures and in a matter of seconds the conversation had turned to yelling.

"Carlisle I don't understand why we can't have snakes.. I mean how on earth are we going to have a snake pit without any snakes?" Emmett's eyes were large and concerned.

"Ew Emmett, no snakes. Last time I ate a rattle snake it didn't go down so well." Jasper grimaced and looked visually sick.

"Well then bro, don't eat any this time..._duh_."

"ENOUGH!" Carlisle raised both of his hands in a preacherly manner. It was one of the rare times I've ever heard him yell. This must have been just as great of a shock to everyone else because within seconds six pairs of golden eyes were transfixed upon him and the living room grew silent.

"Wow." I let out a tiny breath of amazement. Carlisle chuckled at my reaction. "Sorry." I blushed.

I went to go take another spoonful of pudding and found only an empty plastic container. _Shoot_. I had a moment of mental argument and debate about whether or not I should wander back into the kitchen and rumage for more food. The thought of food made my stomach growl and therefore made up my mind for me.

"Oh Bella, darling, let me get you something else to eat!" Esme wrapped an arm around my shoulder and gave a tiny squeeze. She was born to be a mother. "Anything in particular you'd like?" She tilted her head down ever so slightly to look at me and smiled warmly.

"Anything you make I'll love." It was true, Esme was a great cook.

"Oh that's so sweet." She gave me one more squeeze and then turned towards the kitchen.

"Do you want me to help?" I inquired while suddenly feeling bad about Esme running off to make me food. She turned and waved a hand off to dismiss my ridiculous question.

"No thank you dear! Plus I'm sure you'll not want to miss whatever Carlisle says."

I turned my attention back towards the rest of my family. Emmett and Jasper were having a silent staredown, (no doubt having something to do with the snakes) Edward was shaking his head, Alice was making a variety of facial expressions while sifting through different outcomes in her mind and Rosalie... was... gone?

"Where'd Rose go?" Jasper and Emmett broke their gaze and Emmett spun around in a circle. He looked like an extremely oversized and out of place ballerina.

"Dear god where did my Rosie go?!" Again he twisted into a few more circles.

"To get the paintball guns." Alice dead panned and then continued to peek into the future.

"Guns?" I asked. I hated guns, and I'd never been paintballing..

"Don't worry love, you will in no way get injured." Edward swept me up into his arms and I shivered with pleasure and joy against his chest.

"I swear Edward Cullen, sometimes it's as if you actually _can_ read my mind." He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"There will be no guns!" Carlisle smacked the banister and nearly made the whole staircase shake. "No snakes, no tigers, no motes, no cannons, not ditches, no bodily fluid in balloons.." At that Emmett visibly sighed. "No chainsaws and no, _no_ human may be harmed in the process of whatever you all do."

Carlisle held such authority in his tone of voice and I felt complied to agree to his every demand. Jasper stood up straight and gave a little salute which only made Alice giggle and jump into his arms.

"But Carlisle!" Emmett whined and hung on every letter in Carlisle's name a little longer then necessary for dramatic effects. "We'll never be able to do this correctly without the snakes!"

"My foot is down. You kids have your fun but remember my rules, and if any of them are broken..." Carlisle trailed off in contemplation and I smelled the sweetest smell start to waft in from the kitchen. "Well let's just say there will be hell to pay." With that he turned and walked back down the stairs and towards the kitchen to be with Esme. I looked up at Edward.

"Now what?" His eyes twinkled with mischeif as did Alice's. He leaned his mouth down towards my ear and I could feel his sweet cool breath tickle my skin.

"He never said fake snakes." His voice was barely a whisper.

**Edward POV**

Though I don't usually go along with Emmett's ideas... I really wanted to get back at Baker. Carlisle could already tell that we were going to get out of hand and set down a few ground rules but... after all, it's us. We'll find a way to work around them.

"Oh god, should I be worried? Should I hide out upstairs?" My sweet Bella asked. I kissed her hair and breathed in her intoxicating scent.

"No love, you'll be safe. You will want to be a part of this as well."

A small smile played across her mouth and I imagined my still heart bursting to life. I woul willingly spend my eternity holding her in my arms and basking in her love.

My moment was, however, interupted.

The most unpleasant and horrific noise sounded from our front door. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a blur of blonde hair, but just like that Rosalie was gone again. I turned to see what had made the offending noise but saw nothing except Emmett with a goofy grin on his face. Carlisle came into the living room again from the kitchen and looked ready to hand out punishments.

"What was that noise?" His eyes went into angry father mode and his thoughts were in the same mode as well.

"What noise?" Alice asked in her most innocent voice while batting her eyelashes.

"Don't give me that Alice." Carlisle visibly softened at the sight of Alice's sweetness and he quickly turned to Jasper for reassurance. "Jasper?"

My brother kept a calm face while casually shrugging his shoulders. If Carlisle ever expected one person to tell him the truth, he would expect it to be Jasper. Jasper was born and raised a soldier and was not one to oppose the authority figure to which he attended to.

"I don't know what noise you're talking about." Alice's thoughts were flitting back and forth as were Jasper's. Emmett's were a little more obvious.

_Don't laugh at Carlisle_

_Don't say anything about the lion upstairs_

_Don't laugh at Carlisle_

_Don't say anything about the lion upstairs_

My eyes bugged at my brothers chanting reminders to himself. Lion?!? There was currently a lion in the Cullen household.. and right after I told Bella she'd be safe... she was now going to have to share the house with a lion.

"Well alright just try and stay out of trouble. You all have been arrested already tonight." Carlisle turned to walk back into the kitchen, clearly satisfied at Jaspers seeming cluelessness.

"Ok guys! Get to work!" Alice jumped up onto the couch and started pointing her tiny finger at Jasper, Emmett, and I. "You three are going to be my muscle so I want Emmett to man the outside of this house. Use whatever you feel necessary but I think it will be in our best interest to stick with woods."

Emmett saluted and then ran towards the garage.

"Jasper!" Alice started again, "I want you to be the brains of this operation! Make sure that every decoy works properly and that this only affects Baker. I don't want to see Bella ending up victim to one of our traps instead."

Jasper saluted identically to Emmett and instead ran for the basement.

"Edward!" She paused and then smiled, "And Bella of course. I need you two to be the level heads. We have.. _something_... upstairs that I want to not get out of hand... If you know what I mean." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes Alice I do know what you mean." I swooped Bella up bridal style in my arms.

"Edward, I do have legs." She said between laughs.

"Yes love, but I don't want you walking upstairs at this moment." Her forehead wrinkled in confusion and I pulled her closer towards my body. Rosalie's thoughts from her bedroom was a slew of profanities that I barely knew existed. I tentatively knocked on the door and was nearly overcome by the scent of lion.

"COME IN!" Her voice was a near shrill. Bella involuntarily shivered in my arms and I could hear her heart rate kick up a beat.

"Rose?" I slowly opened the door and dropped my jaw in shock. There sitting in the middle of Emmett and Rosalie's bed was the largest lion I'd ever seen in my entire existance. It was chewing a mouthful of hot pink fabric, and was currently having a stare down with Rosalie. "Umm.." I didn't really know what to say. "I thought you were getting paintball guns... and fake snakes..."

"Alice texted me.. she had a vision." She took a step closer towards the bed. "The dirty thing ate my favorite top." Rosalie's voice was ice and almost cut the air around us.

"That's a lion." Bella stated so matter of factly. "Edward." She craned her neck up to meet my eyes. "There is a lion on the bed." Oh god I hope she hasn't gone into shock.

"Yes love, there is." She nodded her head up and down in quiet contemplation.

"I thought so, would you mind terribley if I hide in your room until you secure the lion." I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I wouldn't mind at all." With that I swiftly took her back into my room and closed the door behind me. When I returned to Rosalie she was still staring, unblinkinly, at the lion.

"So.. what are we planning on doing with it?"

"At this point," She glared, "I want to kill it. But, apparently Alice said it was crucial." On cue Alice bolted into the room.

"Oh it's so cute!" She cooed while inching closer and closer to the large cat.

"Be careful Alice," Rosalie whipped out a hand infront of her as means of halting her movement. "Just when you think the big wild cat is cute, it eats your gucci designer top."

Alice's mouth turned down into a frown and she recoiled from the bed while muttering about respect for clothes.

"Alice, why is it so crucial that we have a lion?" My sisted turned around to me and clapped her hands in excitement.

"It's all part of the obstacle course! The lion is going to chase Baker out of here once he's realised that it's impossible to bring the Cullens down!"

"But couldn't he get you know, _hurt_ with a lion chasing him?"

"Nope! I have scene and the worst that will happen in a little hurt to his pride... and mental sanity." She beamed.

"AHHHH!!" A shriek sounded from my room and I tore down the hall towards Bella. I clutched her close towards my body and tried to calm her tremors.

"Love what is it?! Are you alright?" She pointed towards the window.

"Emmett- window....didn't know...hammer-" She pointed more furiously this time. "EMMETT!!!"

I stomped over to my window and whipped it open. Emmett's face greeted me with a sheepish grin and he waved with a hammer in one hand and a hard hat on.

"Hey Eddie. Sorry about scaring Bella.. she opened the window and I was working and -"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DIONG!"

"Protecting the house! If Baked has no way of getting into the house then he will be forced to go into the shack instead."

"Shack?" Carlisle was definitely going to be angry.

"Yea I just built it.. not my best work! Considering, however, the short notice I think it's pretty decent." I turned around and ran downstairs and out the front door. Our entire house had been altered. Every window was boarded up with wood and nails and every door besides the front was boarded up as well. Sure enough to the right of our house was a tiny shack with a large banner hanging on it saying "Welcome Baked!"

"Edward! He's coming I can see him about to turn down our driveway!" Alice yelled and waved frantically from the front door. "We have to board up the front door now so quick!"

Forget Carlisle being mad.. we were going to face the wrath of Esme for ruining her house, again.

**THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME EVERYONE! Only two more chapters! The next one will be Baker encountering all the traps that they're set up. Thanks so much for reading this story! I love you all!!!!**

**Review!!!!**

**Also, sorry that poll never went up. Between me not knowing how to work the poll and not having very many ideas it just didn't happen.**

**HOWEVER! at the request of **cool-gal95 **I'm going to write a tiny side story about how Jasper almost got cut open in the morgue.**

**And I will somehow post something for you all to help me pick the next story I'm going to write!**

**Wow, long authors note... BYE**


	16. Chapter 16

**I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPDATE!!!!**

**I rewrote this chapter a couple of times and yea I've been having some crazy times so again all I can say is sorry. Longer authors note at the end of this chapter!**

**KEEP REVIEWING BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE FREAKING AMAZING!**

**I'm so please :) I could just dance!**

**Detective Baker POV**

I don't usually consider myself a violent person, but I think I would enjoy hitting one of those children. No, no Baker, don't think that.

They've probably had a rough childhood. Yes, that must be it.

NO! They're out to get me! Considering that fact, maybe I really shouldn't have followed them all the way out here. What _is_ out here? I'm assuming that it's the Cullen childrens home. The Swan girl seems to be pretty much a part of their family, something tells me she wont stray far from them.

I don't even know if this is a road, it might be a driveway. Oh god, I've seen movies like this... this is the part that they catch me and then kill me.

Wait- was that a roar?

**Emmett POV**

Finally I get to put this plan in action! I had come up with this trap atleast 40 years ago and was going to use it on Alice, but she clearly saw it coming. I tried to once use it on Jasper but Edward warned him and Esme ended up accidently becoming th victim... Needless to say I havn't tried it since.

"Ughh. Emmett, do you ever come up with any new ideas?" Edward groaned and rolled his eyes in my direction.

"Yes I do, actually, I have all my ideas on file, I just happen to think that this is one of my best one yet!"

Since we boarded up the front door Bella had taken to cacooning herself in Edwards down comforter and curling into the cushions of the couch. Her eyes keep drooping closed and then snapping open. Damn she can't fall asleep yet! Not before all the good stuff happens!

"She needs rest." Edward stated and then went over to the couch with her.

I had to give Bella credit. It was well past three in the morning and she had only yaned a handful of times throughout the night. What a champ.

Edward nodded.

"But Edward, seriously, she will regret falling asleep now."

"I'm awake." Bella's voice was irritated and she glared at me and then turned her glare to Edward. "I am perfectly capable of staying awake Edward! I don't need to rest and I want to see what happens to Baker."

Humans are so angry when they're tired.

"Was that a roar?" Bella questioned and then looked up towards the ceiling. "Oh god that was a roar, that this is gonna get out!"

"Well technically yes." I shrugged and Bella's eyes became wide as saucers. Jasper jumped into the conversation and placed a hand on Bella's shoulder.

"The lion is not gonna get loose down here, it's going outside." Bella nodded and Jasper glared at me. "You just scared her half to death Emmett! Seriously, _try_ to remember that Bella isn't a vampire and has good reason to be afraid of a lion."

"Sorry Bella."

"It's okay Emmett, you know I still love you." I swear she manages to warm even the coldest of hearts. Literally.

Edward chuckled and smiled. Bella noticed.

"You know," She turned her boddy to look towards her fiance, "Sometimes the non mind reading human likes to know what is going on as well."

"Emmett was just thinking, love, about how you have the ability to warm even the coldest of hearts."

Bella's previous annoyance disappeared and she turned the slightest shade of pink while wearing a large smile.

"Alright enough with this mushy stuff, the lion has landed!" Rosalie ran down the stairs with a satisfied grin.

"Landed?" Bella started to look unfomfortable again.

"Oh god, you didn't... not with a lion! I thought it was bad enough when the penguin fell on Esme's head the last time!" Jasper threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "We are so going to get the wii taken away from us! That can't happen Emmett... I just got a new game for it! I swear I'm denying all association with this if we get caught."

"Chill out!" Poor Jasper, sometimes he gets himself so worked up. "Yes Rosalie _did_ toss the lion out the window but Alice had a vision and no one is going to get hurt because of it. And besides, cats always end up on their feet."

God, I thought everyone knew that.

"So, wait, Rosalie just threw the lion that was upstairs in your room... out the window?" Bella was making it seem like it was a bad idea. "Emmett, don't you think that might not have been the best thing to d-"

"NO TIME BELLA!" I jumped and rushed towards one of the many peep holes I'd left in the boarded up windows. I could distinctly hear the roar of the lion and wanted to check to make sure my plan was fully in action.

When I looked outside I could see Baked running like a mad man past our front door. His limbs resembled a gazelle, a very uncoordinated gazelle. Though I would love to just sit back and crack jokes about the way humans flail their arms and legs in terror I had to put the next part of this plan into action.

Next stop, the shack.

**Detective Baker POV**

MY GOD THIS FAMILY IS CRAZY! THEY'RE THROWING LIONS AT ME! God if I ever actually get home to my wife she's never going to believe what I've been through.

Gerald Baker, don't you DARE speak of these events to any other person or they will lock you up in a looney bin and throw away the key!

Oh god, now I'm scolding myself, this can't be good.

*_Roaring and scratching and paws thudding*_

I need to get into a house but the strange mansion that must belong to the Cullens is boarded up. They must have done this on purpose!!! Wait- is that a shack? Does that sign say what I think it says?

I turned to see the lion nearly on me and knew that I had no other choice. This massive cat of death was going to kill me if I didn't get inside somewhere, there can't be anything _too_ horrible in this shed... right?

**Emmett POV**

"Alice! The eagle has landed! I repeat the eagle has landed!" I jumped and nearly hit my head on the ceiling. A few different voices laughed around me.

"Emmett, I know I can see the future!" Alice crossed her arms across her tiny body and stomped over towards the other peep hole. "Baker is about to realise just how creative and crafty we are."

"You're not kidding." Edward spoke up for the first time since joining Bella on the couch. "He thinks that the shack is just innocently there." He paused and then smiled. "He also thinks that he's going insane."

"Ah breaking the sanity of humans, something I'll never get tired of." Jasper started smiling to himself in amusement.

"Eh-hem." Bella cleared her throat and Jasper threw her a sheepish grin.

"Aside from you Bella."

"Thank you Jasper."

The distinct sound of whirring and a shriek blared all the way from the shack and into our cozy home. The machines must be working. Perfect.

**Detective Baker POV**

I pushed the wooden door open with my palm and was grateful that it was a push and not pull door. As it was I only narrowly escaped death by lion. The few extra seconds it would have taken me pull open the door could have quite possibly cost me my life.

Hmm, thats weird, the room is pitch black. There must be a light in here somewhere. Let me just reach up and there.. that's got to be the string, I just need to pull it and a light will be on and... there!

Uh-oh.

I was all of a sudden cold, wet and cold. I quickly snapped my neck back towards the door and head butted something hanging from the ceiling. A bucket was dangling from the middle of the room with smiley faces painted all over it.

This had to have been the doings of the large on... what was his name.... ah Emmett! Yes he was the one on drugs... wait... didn't he die?

Oh my god he's probably not really dead! These children are disturbed, faking deaths and stealing wild animals. Jasper is probably selling his bi-polar medication to the rest of them.

"Psst, psssssssst!" A tiny whisper was coming from somewhere outside of this shack, but I still hadn't found a light so I didn't know which window. "Pssst, I'm just hear to warn to that whatever you do, don't look in the trunk! My parents keep all of their stolen money from the government in that trunk!"

WHAT?!?

"Stolen money?" I found myself not whispering to match the volume of the mystery voice. "I'm a police officers and I am now obligated to return whatever stolen money might be in this building!"

Atleast if I could bring down a couple of money laundrying criminals in the midst of all this insanity, I might go down as a hero!

Blonde hair flitted past the window and gleamed under the moon. Blonde hair, something deep within my memory vault sparked.

I went to go follow the blonde hair and tripped over something large and rectangular. This must be the trunk! I now _needed_ to open this trunk. I reached down and started lifting the top, it was dusty and heavy and smelled like.. musty.

And thats when I heard it, the hissing.

**Thanks so much for sticking with me and for putting up with my nearly month long haitus.. My life has been uber hectic. **

**ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT!!!! Also working on writing the jasper in my morgue little short side story.**

**My next big story is going to be all human which I think will be fun to write! :)**

**Anyways, ENJOY AND KEEP REVIEWING!**


	17. Authors Note SORRY!

**Hey guys! I'm really sorry if I got any of your hopes up with this post because it's not the last chapter. **

**While I am working on the last chapter (having already rewritten it) I need to tweak it a little more so that I'm pleased and hopefully you all will be too!**

**This authors note is just a little suggestive nudge towards my new story! Haha. I just posted the first chapter and would love for you all to go take a peak! It's called 'Good Morning Sunshine' and It's all human and involves a cranky Bella, Alice and Rosalie running into 3 gorgeous guys at a coffee shop. Keep in mind the girls are all late and caffeine deprived during this encounter! I'm excited to write it so go review and let me know your opinions!**

**The last chapter to Doing Time will be up soon! It's been so much fun writing this story! Thank you all for being so friggen amazing!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Jasper POV**

"Rose go recapture the lion!" Emmett waved his hands in a 'shoo' manner. "And while you're at it go make sure that Baked opens the trunk full of snakes I put in there! That'll sure scare him." Rosalie raised an eyebrow and slowly crossed her arms over her chest. I could feel the annoyance rolling off of my sister in waves and I was starting to become annoyed with Emmett too.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie sneered. Emmett turned away from the peep hole at the sound of his wife's voice.

"What? I said to go out there and get the lion and make Baked open the trunk." Another bout of annoyance.

"And what makes you think that I'm just going to go do whatever you say Emmett?" She gave a tiny stomp of her foot and walked towards a now confused looking Emmett. "I'm your wife, and not your slave, and I will not be taken for granted!"

"Yea!" I spit out the 'yea' before even realizing what I was doing. Emmett looked at me and then scrunched up his face.

"Jasper, you're not my wife." I felt like Bella, and if I was still alive I would be turning red just like her as well.

"My Jazzy is just sensitive that's all." Alice beamed while snaking her arms around my waist. "It's what I love most about him."

"I'm not sensitive!" I spat. And while I hated the little frown it created upon my wife's face I had to defend my honor. "It's all of Rosalie's female annoyance! I hate being the empath!"

"Yea it makes you all womanly. You might as well be married to yourself." Emmett started chuckling and then slid towards Rosalie. "At least I know how to be a man." She batted his arm and hand away and spun on her heels, blonde hair twirling.

"Well at least Jasper understands the inadequacy us girls feel when you guys are on a testosterone kick!" Emmett's face sunk for a moment and then he immediately regained his former smirk.

"Oh Rosie you love my testosterone."

"ENOUGH!" Bella was sitting up straight in Edwards lap and eyeing Emmett Rosalie and I. Alice had removed herself from the fight and was standing next to a mildy amused Edward with her arms crossed. "You two need to quit fighting! Every second you come up with a new thing to argue about and I'm sick of it. Nothing is getting done and there is a lion out there probably eating Baker. I don't like the guy but a part of me is going to feel guilty if he is currently being swatted around like a toy for a large and wild cat!"

"There's my girl." Edward smiled more and chuckled. Bella's face was a new flush of red, either from embarrassment or over exertion of anger. I can't wait for Edward to finally turn her. Once she's a vampire I'm so excited for her to beat up Emmett. "Me too." Edward mumbled too low for Bella to hear.

A loud and exasperated sigh sliced through the room.

"Fine!" Rosalie sauntered towards the front door. "I'll get the friggen lion, but Emmett. Last time we EVER do this prank." She paused with one hand on the door handle and then called over her shoulder. "And maybe you should take some lessons from Jasper on sensitivity and respect."

Slam.

The 'barred' door was thrown open and wood splintered from the frame.

"What was that?!" Esme shrieked from the kitchen. "If you children are destroying this house there will be hell to pay!" I winced, she was livid. Edward's eyes darted from Emmett and then to me and his face dead panned while he spoke in my direction.

"He's blaming you."

**Rosalie POV**

No respect. That man wouldn't know his wife from a slave! The things I put up with alarm even me. His mind is run by his penis and I'm so mad I could scream. That moron, that tyrant that no good for anything selfish vampire.

God, I love him.

"Ahhhhh!"

I hate humans. They're so easily alarmed. However, I should probably put that lion back in it's cage.. the quicker this prank ends the happier I'll be. As much as I blame Emmett for the idiocy of this whole situation, I have to give him credit on his craftsmanship. Anyone could easily live in this so called 'shack' just as it is now.

Well, not everyone. Certainly not I nor any member of my family would willingly live there... maybe Bella. She'd probably think it was cute and quant. So I guess Edward would probably live there considering he would do anything for her.

Baker was spinning in circles inside the shack and clearly not able to see a thing in front of him in the darkness. I could see perfectly and noticed the trunk that Emmett was talking about. I also noticed the bucket of water sitting precariously high above Bakers head.

And then the bucket feel and I nearly sighed in disbelief. When you're the one standing on the outside looking in on a situation like this, it really puts into perspective just how... _predictable_ some things in life can be. Baker was looking wet and miserable and I figured I might as well just do what Emmett asked of me, so I dashed to the window and hollered inside.

"Pssst, I'm just hear to warn to that whatever you do, don't look in the trunk! My parents keep all of their stolen money from the government in that trunk!" Baker's eyes widened.

"Stolen money? I'm a police officers and I am now obligated to return whatever stolen money might be in this building!" Like I said, so predictable. I saw him head towards the trunk and lift the lid only to be met by hissing.

I might as well go round up that lion now.

**Bella POV**

"Just ignore them and go to sleep if you'd like. I can tell that you're tired and you've had a very long day." Edward was rubbing small circles on my lower back and murmuring in my ear. I could feel my eyes starting to droop closed and then I'd jolt and snap them open again. Since Rosalie had left I'd made many futile attempts at resting my head on Edwards lap and taking a power nap, however Jasper and Emmett's continuous arguing made it impossible.

"I can't ignore them.. they're so loud." I groaned while placing both my hands over my ears. Edwards hand stopped circling for a moment in irritation at Emmett's sudden bellow.

"IF I WAS AN EMPATH THEN I WOULD USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD! I WOULD BE AWESOME! I WOULDN'T JUST SIT AROUND AND BE ALL HORMONAL!"

"YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL IT!" Jasper spat back at him. I would have smacked both of them if it wouldn't break my hand. Alice was finding the whole confrontation unusually hysterical. Any other time I've seen Jasper and Emmett fight she's always quick to defend her husband and diffuse the situation, but tonight she was playing the role of spectator.

"WOULD TOO!" Emmett turned and stepped out towards the now broken front door. Esme had just threatened that she wanted to have time to come up with a creative punishment for Emmett and I think that this scared him more than just being punished on the spot. "WHAT DOES EMPATH EVEN MEAN?!?"

I opened my mouth in shock and then looked towards Edward. He shook his head in either disbelief or shame and continued the circles again.

"Are you kidding?" Jasper had stopped yelling and now was just staring at his brother. I could sense another argument about to erupt when Alice jumped from her seat with flailing arms.

"Baker is coming!" At her announcement we all instinctively looked towards the porch. Rosalie then appeared and walked back into the house.

"That's not Baker." I mumbled while stifling a yawn.

"Of course not!" Rosalie looked offended and then sat down on the arm of the couch.

"Baker is coming though! Right now he's battling some harmless garden snakes but then he'll walk to the front door-"

"Garden snakes?" Emmett's voice was significantly quieter then before and he looked at Alice with a cocked head. "You wanted me to get garden snakes?" Alice nodded her head up and down at a surprisingly slow speed.

"You did get garden snakes right?" He wrung his hands while Alice stared him down. Once again the circles on my back stopped, but this time Edward jumped up.

"You idiot!" He yelled before taking off out the door. In less then 20 seconds Edward returned with an unconscious Baker slung over his shoulder. "Carlisle!" Rosalie looked around alarmed and then grabbed onto Alice's hand.

"Please please don't tell me we're going to have to turn him. Alice, I don't want to be stuck with him for the rest of eternity!" Carlisle walked through the door and went into full doctor mode.

"What happened." His calm and collected eyes were staring directly at Edward.

"Multiple snake bites. All poisonous." Carlisle nodded and then dashed from the room. He was back faster then I could blink with his work bag and gestured towards the table in the middle of the living room.

"Lay him there and let me work." It was a dismissal, even I could tell. Edward placed Baker on the table and then scooped me up into his arms. The rest of the family followed us upstairs and we all gathered in Alice and Jaspers room. It was the biggest one, being mostly closet.

"This is all your fault." Jasper effortlessly tossed his words in Emmett's direction. Emmett shrugged. I felt a little bad considering that there was a possible dying man downstairs and all I wanted to do was sleep. The last thing I remembered was Rosalie smacking Emmett's head and Edward kissing my neck before I finally and willingly gave into slumber.

----

"Bella? Wake up love." Edwards cool breath tickled my ear and I sleepily opened my eyes. His crooked smile greeted me and my heart fluttered. "Baker is alive and well and Alice said that he's about to wake up any minute. Carlisle has a plan on how to handle everything that went on so we have to get up and go be there for when Baker wakes."

I nodded my head in agreement and wondered what plan Carlisle had come up with. Edward entwined his hand with mine and lead me to the stairs. I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Only about an hour."

When we got to the living room everyone aside from Esme was all standing around the table. Baker was asleep in the middle of the circle.

"Bella! Edward! Hurry up this is going to be so much fun!" I could only imagine. We joined the circle just as Baker's eyes started to flutter. Very, very slowly he opened them.

"It's you." He whispered in horror while eyeing Emmett. "And all of you.. tonight.. at the station.." Baker looked downright terrified to see all of our faces. I could see Emmett about to open his mouth but Carlisle quickly cut him off.

"Hello sir, you've suffered a terrible accident." Carlisle offered a warming smile and his voice held such a calm and seriousness to it that I would believe him in a second.

"What?" Baker looked confused. Carlisle continued.

"My family and I heard screams coming from nearby our house and we went to go see what the commotion was and we found you. It appeared as if you'd been attacked by some type of wild animal. I'm a doctor so we decided that you had the best chance of survival if I just treated you at our home." Baker was shaking his head disapprovingly.

"No! These kids.. they were in jail! And then I followed them here. There was a lion and snakes... and a shack." He pointed a finger at Emmett. "And you! You died!" Carlisle continued to shake his head 'no'.

"Sir I'm sorry but my children have been home this whole night. We only just met you at our finding you in the woods about an hour ago." Alice was nodding her head and agreeing with Carlisle.

"We're sorry you're confused.." Rosalie ventured and offered an exceptionally well placed frown.

"I'm not confused!" Baker countered. Rosalie's eyes turned angry and she glared. "There's a shack in the backyard!"

"There's no shack in our yard." Jasper argued. Alice agreed. "Here's we'll show you."

Carlisle helped Baker up and off the table and took him outside. Where the shack had once stood was now just grass. I looked at Edward in confusion and he merely smirked. They must have torn it down when I was asleep.

"But-but I saw... I mean I was in it and.." Baker looked bewildered. "Maybe I am confused.." Carlisle smiled.

"Sir if you just tell me where you live I can get you home safe and sound." Carlisle started walking him towards his car.

Alice clapped in joy. "Oh that was fun!" She giggled while turning around and going back inside. We all followed behind her and I realized my stomach had started growling again. My nap had made for just enough time to digest all I had eaten. Esme was waiting for us as soon as we stepped into the house. She wore a magnificent grin on her face and had her arms folded over her chest.

"Emmett I've come up with your punishment." Emmett visibly tensed in preparation. Esme continues to smile and then walked over to me and place an arm on my shoulder.

"You're going to make Bella Cinnamon Buns."

I always knew I loved Esme.

**THE END!!!! I hope it sufficed lol. Sorry for waiting so long to post it but yea I loved writing this story for you guys and I'm so thrilled that you all loved reading it! YOU ALL ARE AMAZING!!!! I can't thank you all enough for your reviews and everything! Each time I got a new review you wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face.**

**I love you all!**

**Now time to work on my new story "Good Morning Sunshine" full time! I'm pumped! The second chapter to that will be posted before the end of the week!**


	19. Emmett's PunishmenyAuthors Note

Hi all! I have to say I have missed you all!

I have a little surprise that I hope you all enjoy...

I finally wrote a tiny follow up to Doing Time. It's very short so don't get TOO excited. It's about Emmett's punishment so go check it out in my stories.

The name of it is "Emmett's Punishment" I know, I shock you all with my creativity.

Anyways, I look forward to hearing what you all think of it! Also go check out my other story I'm working on!

Hope everyone is happy and healthy :)


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